The news, even that about the movie Groundhog Day, doesn’t need to be complicated or confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable will come out soon:

Really all you need to do is follow one simple rule: barely pay attention and jump to conclusions. So, here are some headlines today and my first thoughts:

‘Groundhog Day’ cast reunites 31 years after movie was released.
‘Groundhog Day’ cast reunites 31 years after movie was released.

It has to confuse the Alt Right. They dig all the white but hate getting their asses buried by snowflakes.

Elmo not tickled by response.

Which mean fives of people will see it.

Well, at least she’s used to being in uncomfortable positions.

A-Ha! So, they ARE sleeping on the job!

So, it’s DaVinci meets Andy Warhol …

Also, long division, NFL divisions, tank divisions, and divisions separating cubicles

You just know George would have more than seven words you can’t say on TV about this AI imposter.

If they could watch Gigli, they’d all be even.

… Must be time for this season’s premier of ‘Dancing with the Tsars.’

While Rand Paul’s toupee saw its shadow, which means six more weeks of conspiracy theories.

Or, a meeting of Moms for Liberty? You decide.

… Blame the vaccine …

QOSHE - Ripping the Headlines Today, 2/5/24 - Paul Lander
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Ripping the Headlines Today, 2/5/24

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05.02.2024

The news, even that about the movie Groundhog Day, doesn’t need to be complicated or confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable will come out soon:

Really all you need to do is follow one........

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