As soon as I write this I’m going to call Dave the Editor and tell him he doesn’t have to fret or sweat beads of blood worrying about tomorrow’s front page.
It’s right here, Dave.
I’m taking a page out of Mark Messier’s book – no, make that the New York Post – where he, in only Messier style, coined a line which sent copy editors scrambling to find the biggest point size they could.
And May 25, 1994 they did: 120 point, with a picture of the New York Rangers captain on the left side of the page and Messier’s battle cry in a column on the right.
“We’ll win tonight,” the headline screamed.
Messier kept his word. The Rangers beat the New Jersey Devils to bring their Stanley Cup Playoff best-of-seven semi-final firmly knotted at three games.
The Rangers won the series in the greatest two words in hockey – Game 7 — and then won the Stanley Cup in the next series against the Vancouver Canucks.
I have the same bold prediction.
“Misery ends Monday night.” There’s your headline, David!
I know things are, of course, bigger in New York. But let’s go bigger — 130 point. That should do the trick. Because this is the night the Edmonton Oilers are going to end their flirtation with — cover your eyes, Oilers fans — not making the playoffs after a disastrous ten game start, only winning two games.
Heck, their play is creating more red flags than a 25-car pile-up in a Nascar race. But tonight, the Oilers best players will, in fact. Be their best players.
They will play with urgency and competitiveness — rather than the Sunday skates they’ve been having.
Their defence? It will be stingy. Every man was covered. A force, finally, to be reckoned with.
And their goaltenders, who have mightily struggled, will have a stand-on-your-head, arms, legs, pinkie’s, and funny-bone performance.
Want proof? Say hello to Rachel Salas. She is an associate professor of neurology who specializes in sleep medicine and sleep disorders at Johns Hopkins University.
In a recent BBC report, Salas said you’re in a better mood, have improved reasoning and better sharing ideas with more sleep, and what did we all just encounter?
An extra hour, you say? You picking up what I’m lying down?
We just got that wonderful, peaceful, pull-up-the-covers for another good hour with an extra hour of shut-eye Sunday after turning our clocks back an hour.
And now it’s time for the Oilers to be refreshed, be sharp, be a competitive National Hockey League team and to, finally, turn things around.
Look out, Vancouver Canucks: you’re in trouble tonight. The Oilers are going to get you back … big time.
So maybe take an extra long pre-game nap. You’re gonna need it.
So there you go, Editor Dave. This piece, for whatever reason, took a lot out of me — more than normal.
Speaking of naps…
TAIT: Oilers will wake up out of their slumber and end their misery tonight
10
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07.11.2023
As soon as I write this I’m going to call Dave the Editor and tell him he doesn’t have to fret or sweat beads of blood worrying about tomorrow’s front page.
It’s right here, Dave.
I’m taking a page out of Mark Messier’s book – no, make that the New York Post – where he, in only Messier style, coined a line which sent copy editors scrambling to find the biggest point size they could.
And May 25, 1994 they did: 120 point, with a picture of the New York Rangers captain on the left side of the page and Messier’s battle cry in a column on the right.
“We’ll win tonight,” the headline screamed.
Messier kept his word. The Rangers beat the New Jersey Devils to bring their Stanley Cup........
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