It's been just a few days since 15 people were murdered at Bondi. And all I can think about is Ahmed al Ahmed, the brave bystander who took down the gunman. Actually, he wasn't a bystander. He stood up. He saved lives.

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Beautiful Bondi beach afternoon. Locals celebrating Jewish festival of lights Hanukkah and minding their own business. Terrorists trying to shoot and bomb as many as they can.

And then along came Ahmed al Ahmed. Here he is, a few days later, riddled with bullets, telling everyone that he does not regret lunging at the gunman. He says he would do it all again. Oh my god. An absolute bloody hero.

That would not have been me. I could not have run towards danger in that way. I am a wimp.

So how do we make more Ahmeds and fewer Jennas? By the time I speak to Erica Frydenberg, author of Coping in Good Times and Bad,

I've got myself in such a state I'm close to tears. Been that way since the murders at Bondi.

How incredible that someone intervened and saved lives. How remarkable. And how few of us have the guts to perform bravery at this level - most of us panic when forced to confront bad behaviour, let alone evil and violent behaviour. So how do we go about bringing up a generation into bravery?

The first thing, she says, is to recognise we act as role models to our children. Sure, I think to myself. But my parents were really brave survivors - how did I end up thinking I would be too terrified to act?

First, Frydenberg reminds me that we have to work from our strengths - and that's also how we should help our kids.

"You've got to really identify their strengths. They might have been brave enough to ask for........

© Canberra Times