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Are you sure you really want to see it? You're not the squeamish type, are you? It ain't pretty. Some have glimpsed it and wished they hadn't. Others recoiled in disgust when I waved it in front of them and asked if they would like to touch it.

Here it is. Damn ugly thing, right? All gnarled and shrivelled and covered in age spots. And are those little hairs sprouting at its end? Little wonder no-one wants to go near it. My wife laughed when I first showed it to her. Then she looked away in embarrassment. "Put that thing away," she snapped. "And stop touching it."

But there was no way I was leaving the supermarket without buying that deformed carrot. It had been buried in a display box beneath dozens of perfectly formed carrots with such glowing orange skins they must have undergone a decent session in the local tanning salon.

Uncovering that misshapen vegetable was like watching the Hunchback of Notre Dame in a Miss Universe contest. Sometimes you just have to back the underdog in the eternal contest between ugliness and beauty.

Surely that moment arrived for us all after evidence given this week to the Senate inquiry investigating the market power of supermarkets.

Guy Gaeta, an orchardist from Orange in New South Wales, warned that Australia's family farms will disappear in the next few years unless farmers are paid fair prices for their produce. "People don't understand how ruthless the supermarkets are," Gaeta said before his appearance. "Just to sell a zucchini it has to be perfectly straight - pretty soon they will expect bananas to be straight, believe me."

The Greens-led inquiry is investigating allegations of price gouging and profiteering by the supermarket chains. But this week's evidence also exposed our own double standards. We may cheer the battle against corporate predators like Coles and Woolworths. But we're not so supportive when it comes to the endless war waged by nature against our farmers.

Blotchy apples, stunted bananas and pears with the skins of pubescent teenagers don't cut it anymore. Superficiality always wins and it's not the sole fault of the supermarkets. You can blame them for conditioning us to expect perfection. But in this era of silicon breasts, creaseless foreheads and bee-stung lips, aren't they simply serving consumer demand?

Increasing numbers of retailers devote small sections to "ugly" fruit and vegetables which they flog at discounted prices. But these are also marketed to shoppers like 19th century circus freak shows. You half expect to find a moustachioed spruiker out the front with a bullhorn: "See the bearded lady posing as a stringy corn cob! Witness the Elephant Man disguised as a bulbous eggplant!"

This country produces a staggering eight million tonnes of food waste each year. More than 2600 gigalitres of water - the equivalent of five Sydney harbours - is wasted on fruit and vegetables that never make it to our plates. Research shows 23 per cent of apples and a fifth of onions grown in the UK are destroyed because they do not measure up the exacting standards of buyers and consumers.

The push for high-density housing and the near impossibility of home ownership for so many means increasing numbers of us no longer understand or are even curious about where our food comes from. Only those fortunate enough to grow their own produce, where bugs, birds, soil imbalances and unpredictable weather turn the backyard veggie patch into a battleground, can comprehend the true hurdles farmers face.

But there are rewards. Growing your own is akin to owning a time machine. It takes you back to the era before refrigeration technology of the 1980s allowed producers and retailers to chill fruit and vegetables for months - triggering the pursuit of longevity over flavour.

People once ate bananas only when the skins had browned because they were at their tastiest. Not like today's chalky and pallid monstrosities. Lumpy tomatoes, often bruised and mottled, would burst in your mouth and tingle like fairy floss. These days you might as well bite into a cricket ball. And that variety of apples dubbed Delicious? They were exactly that - not the tasteless imposters served up now.

There's a lot we can justifiably rage against when it comes to the food industry and the Coles-Woolworths duopoly. Yet we're also to blame for this country's appalling food waste by allowing style to triumph over substance.

That ugly carrot I bought? It certainly offended the eye. But all it took was one bite to reveal its true beauty.

HAVE YOUR SAY: Do you buy "ugly" fruit and vegetables? Do you grow your own and have you noticed the difference in flavour? Should people be better educated about where our food comes from and how it is grown? Email us: echidna@theechidna.com.au

SHARE THE LOVE: If you enjoy The Echidna, forward it to a friend so they can sign up, too.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT:

The worker who died after a gold mine in western Victoria collapsed has been identified. Kurt Hourigan, 37, from Bruthen in Victoria's Gippsland region was killed during a rockfall at Ballarat Gold Mine o Wednesday afternoon. He and another worker were undertaking a manual form of mining called "air legging" under unsupported ground when it collapsed, according to their union.

Extra cost of living relief could be on its way for struggling households in the upcoming federal budget but the treasurer warns the support will be minor or risk jeopardising the fight against inflation. Treasurer Jim Chalmers says there will be additional cost of living relief in the budget but "it won't be anywhere near the magnitude" of the stage three tax cuts due to start mid-year.

Federal cabinet did not believe Australia would be in a position to contribute to peacekeeping or reconstruction efforts in Iraq following the initial conflict in 2003, documents have revealed. Newly declassified cabinet documents from 2003, released yesterday by the National Archives, have shed further light on the decision making process before Australia entered the Iraq War.

THEY SAID IT: "We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavours and furniture polish is made from real lemons." - Alfred Newman.

YOU SAID IT: Dear, dear Echidna readers, thank you for your well-wishes on our second birthday. Permit us to bask in the warm glow with today's comments.

Dale asked us to "keep stirring the possum."

Old Donald says he cannot imagine life without the perspectives here. "My weekdays have been raised a notch every morning for the past two years by your deft thrusts. You present them with a rare sense of relative importance which is lacking in so many (read 'almost all') electronic takes on the human lot," he writes.

Elaine tells us she starts the day by reading the articles and enjoying the comments and replies. "I just love the honesty of the reporting and the humour on offer. Keep up the good work."

As a "proud original Boomer", Helen says "this world has changed so much over my life that it is good to be able to sound off about it here occasionally. I am sure my family is tired of my (mild) rants about the ubiquitous mobile phones, lack of manners, and other things that have changed so much. Probably my parents did the same."

Arthur tells us he enjoys the wide range of topics. "The most interesting thing is the response from readers. The responses widen my understanding of the Australian community."

Ian says, "Thank you John, Garry and the team for delivering the Echidna every morning. A shot of clear-minded sanity first thing in the morning is a great start to the day."

One Paul says, "Well done on two years of an eclectic mix of items designed to amuse, excite, arouse, annoy and inflame the readership - sometimes all in the same article."

Another Paul puts us alongside the first coffee of the day as one if his essential daily delights. "Loads of great articles, some humorous, some sharp and penetrating, and some we don't agree with! The Echidna often takes us out of our comfort zones and challenges some of our views. Which is what a good newspaper will do. Add in the selected articles from The Canberra Times and we're thinking we get more useful information here than from the big dailies."

Anita found us through a recommendation from a friend. "I'm very glad I took note. As a rule I, approve of your politics, am amused by your witty take on life's absurdities and love reading the pre-moderated comments, some of which are very funny indeed."

The Echidna is the third port of call for Sue each morning "after I have fed the animals and made my coffee". "I have really enjoyed your social commentary, accompanied by a touch of irreverence, sarcasm, nostalgia or other emotion, as well as the comments by other members of your audience, and I am very grateful that there was a group of people prepared to get the Echidna our from underground and into the open where so many of us can share the words and respond. I look forward to another year (or more) of your inspiring perspectives on political and social issues."

We're looking forward to it too. Thanks again everyone for the warm wishes.

Garry Linnell is one of Australia’s most experienced journalists. He has won several awards for his writing, including a Walkley for best feature writing. He writes a weekly column for ACM and the Echidna.

Garry Linnell is one of Australia’s most experienced journalists. He has won several awards for his writing, including a Walkley for best feature writing. He writes a weekly column for ACM and the Echidna.

QOSHE - Backing the underdog in the eternal contest between ugliness and beauty - Garry Linnell
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Backing the underdog in the eternal contest between ugliness and beauty

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15.03.2024

This is a sample of The Echidna newsletter sent out each weekday morning. To sign up for FREE, go to theechidna.com.au

$0/

(min cost $0)

Login or signup to continue reading

Are you sure you really want to see it? You're not the squeamish type, are you? It ain't pretty. Some have glimpsed it and wished they hadn't. Others recoiled in disgust when I waved it in front of them and asked if they would like to touch it.

Here it is. Damn ugly thing, right? All gnarled and shrivelled and covered in age spots. And are those little hairs sprouting at its end? Little wonder no-one wants to go near it. My wife laughed when I first showed it to her. Then she looked away in embarrassment. "Put that thing away," she snapped. "And stop touching it."

But there was no way I was leaving the supermarket without buying that deformed carrot. It had been buried in a display box beneath dozens of perfectly formed carrots with such glowing orange skins they must have undergone a decent session in the local tanning salon.

Uncovering that misshapen vegetable was like watching the Hunchback of Notre Dame in a Miss Universe contest. Sometimes you just have to back the underdog in the eternal contest between ugliness and beauty.

Surely that moment arrived for us all after evidence given this week to the Senate inquiry investigating the market power of supermarkets.

Guy Gaeta, an orchardist from Orange in New South Wales, warned that Australia's family farms will disappear in the next few years unless farmers are paid fair prices for their produce. "People don't understand how ruthless the supermarkets are," Gaeta said before his appearance. "Just to sell a zucchini it has to be perfectly straight - pretty soon they will expect bananas to be straight, believe me."

The Greens-led inquiry is investigating allegations of price gouging and profiteering by the supermarket chains. But this week's evidence also exposed our own double standards. We may cheer the battle against corporate predators like Coles and Woolworths. But we're not so supportive when it comes to the endless war waged by nature against our farmers.

Blotchy apples, stunted bananas and pears with the skins of pubescent teenagers don't cut it anymore. Superficiality always wins and it's not the sole fault of the supermarkets. You can blame them for conditioning us to expect perfection. But in this era of silicon breasts, creaseless........

© Canberra Times


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