Don’t worry, women of America. Donald Trump is going to protect you at a level never seen before!

I know this because the former president said so in a social media post this weekend, and I’ve never known the man to lie. Prior to his promise of never-before-seen levels of protection, I didn’t even know there were ways to measure levels of woman-protecting. But that is the genius of the GOP presidential nominee, who kind of inconveniently is an adjudicated rapist, but we’re not going to worry about that on account of all the supergood women-protecting he will be doing.

On Friday night, on the heels of an event in which Democratic presidential nominee Kamala Harris spoke compassionately about abortion rights, Trump posted the following, presumably in all caps so America’s women would know how seriously he meant it all:

“WOMEN ARE POORER THAN THEY WERE FOUR YEARS AGO, ARE LESS HEALTHY THAN THEY WERE FOUR YEARS AGO, ARE LESS SAFE ON THE STREETS THAN THEY WERE FOUR YEARS AGO, ARE MORE DEPRESSED AND UNHAPPY THAN THEY WERE FOUR YEARS AGO, AND ARE LESS OPTIMISTIC AND CONFIDENT IN THE FUTURE THAN THEY WERE FOUR YEARS AGO! I WILL FIX ALL OF THAT, AND FAST, AND AT LONG LAST THIS NATIONAL NIGHTMARE WILL BE OVER.........

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