The hysteria over mysterious drone sightings in and around New Jersey has reached a fever pitch, leaving people along the East Coast and across the country asking the same question: Which online conspiracy theory should I believe?

I have the answer. You should believe mine. Which I’ll get to in a moment.

Some have speculated the drones are run by a foreign adversary hoping to glean information about, I assume, American turnpike design and maintenance or suburban industrial-odor tolerance.

Others – mainly me – initially thought it might be the beginning of a hostile power’s plot to rob us of our most treasured natural resource – Bruce Springsteen. I dubbed it “Operation Thunder Road,” then realized that was silly since they might actually be after Jon Bon Jovi. So I renamed it “Operation You Give Drones a Bad Name” before scrapping the whole idea and moving on.

Theorists have wandered from “Is Russia up to something?” to “Has antifa developed drone technology?” At the same time, government officials tried to reassure the public it’s probably all a bunch of wahoos in New Jersey who think they see drones when they’re really seeing other........

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