Life happens on two tracks for every individual who has lost a loved one to war and terrorism throughout Israel’s history. Life itself and the parallel track, pause. Where absence is always present. On Yom Hazikaron, Memorial Day, personal and collective memories converge. Pause. Intensified collective absence in the last 2-1/2 years?

Idle conversation. A woman at the pool tells me her brother fell, over 50 years ago. Now, she feels collective commemoration relates to loss since October 7. Displacing her pain. Diminishing it on its national day. It was the morning of the Eve of Yom Hazikaron, anticipating the evening siren and ceremonies, I would think of her loss.

I attended the 21st Israeli-Palestinian Memorial Service in Tel Aviv. Location was disclosed 24 hours in advance to those registered. If you registered, you understood. If you ever attended the ceremony in the park earlier this decade, when you didn’t need to register, you were greeted by objectors’ spitting, name-calling, cursing, and worse. Objection to Israeli-Palestinian commitment to reconciliation more sacred than commemorating fallen soldiers and victims of terrorism?

Closure prevents West Bank Palestinian attendance. Their bereavement included with video clips. Video clips from Gaza. Israeli stories live. Jews and Arabs performing musical arrangements. Brave Palestinians in the West Bank attended a live streaming. They were videoed, occasionally shown on the background screen at the Tel Aviv ceremony. Solidarity. Bereavement from before October 7 alongside losses since.

On Yom Hazikaron morning, traffic congestion near Israel’s military cemetery plots. The siren, every year, throughout Israel, 11:00 AM. Two minutes of silence. By chance, in the parked car while Haim ran an errand, I opened the car door and stood. Three Arab women at a bench nearby. I didn’t look to see if they stood in silence. Presumably, not. Because.

I thought about a friend, a Palestinian citizen of Israel, who lost a family member saving Jewish lives on October 7. Would his family stand? They lost a loved one, like other Arabs who fell on October 7, because of their status: citizens of Israel. Some heroically saving lives. Some just driving to work, working at a kibbutz. A fate tied to Israel. Memorial Day preceding Independence Day, inseparable from the Nakhba, Palestinian displacement with the founding of Israel. Narratives. The conflict can’t be displaced – it’s integral.

Could a parallel track, a shared narrative coexist with separate Jewish and Palestinian narratives? Could we establish inclusive commemoration?

Yom Hazikaron moments of silence, a given in Druze towns. Israeli Druze, unlike most Arab citizens, serve in the IDF, sharing destiny, honoring loved ones’ memories and all fallen in Israel’s wars.

Yet, the Nation-State Law of 2018 discriminates against them. Druze protest with likeminded Jews. Ineffective. Ensuing judicial reform from January 2023 disempowering democratic institutions.

At the end of Yom Hazikaron, Yom Ha’atzmaut begins. Haim commented, this Yom Hazikaron seemed dedicated solely to fallen soldiers – and there have been many – since October 7. His memories, as a young soldier, 21, his first reserve duty, during another October War, 1973, the Yom Kippur War, marginalized. We avoid heart wrenching, media exposure to memorial stories throughout the day, but were at a loss for avoiding a story from that war too.

The annually recurring, rhetorical question: why begin Yom Ha’atzmaut with the conclusion of Yom Hazikaron? How do you suddenly usher in celebration? Like a Jewish wedding, breaking the glass, remembering the destruction of the Second Temple while celebrating? Yom Hazikaron inseparable from Yom Haatzmaut.  A national ceremony concludes one day, beginning the next.

The existence of the State of Israel, a miracle, necessity. As an Israeli, acknowledging vulnerability. At least one potentially capable country would eliminate Israel, and the Jewish people. Probably a non-negotiable intention. We must defend ourselves, but still, I beg for alternatives to war. Like many countries which fought for independence, loss of life coupled with displacement of other native residents. Not noteworthy amidst independence celebrations?

I want to celebrate – feeling safe, confident the State of Israel and its Jewish citizens are humbled by narratives of other citizens, the enemy in the War of Independence or not. I will celebrate independence – like youth seen filling the streets this eve of Yom Ha’atzmaut, releasing anxieties recently left in shelters from Iranian missiles – when Palestinians who are citizens of Israel can rejoice living in a democracy, shared society, with equal rights, when Israel shows zero tolerance for desecrating Christian or Muslim symbols and sites, anywhere; when Israel prevents violence by Jews against innocent Palestinians in the West Bank. When any act of violence, arson, trespassing, property violation, promoting an ethnic cleansing agenda is punished. Then, we can reclaim celebrating independence.

Harriet Gimpel – April 22, 2026

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