Congratulations on the new gig, PVL. But you’ve dropped the ball with the grand final entertainment

September 26, 2026 — 5:00am

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This columnist has had a lot of fun over the years blowing raspberries in the general direction of much of the insanely breathless coverage he is afforded for his every move: “V’landys, he’s done it AGAIN! Las Vegas matches are taking America by storm! He’s bigger than the Pope! He has the Queen of England’s telephone number!”

Against that, however, in the week when he takes over as executive chairman of the whole shooting match of the NRL, it is equally fair to note that he is a very good operator and, with former chief executive Andrew Abdo, has done more to genuinely professionalise the sport of rugby league than anyone – with the possible exceptions of John Quayle and Todd Greenberg, back in the day.

If you wanted to argue for the virtues of having a benevolent dictator running a sport, he’s a good argument in your favour, taking – for all the hoopla and carry-on – quick and effective decisions that in days of yore might have taken months, if not years, to guide through various committees. So good luck to him. But ...

NRL should be so lucky to have Kylie, anyone

But we now resume our normal programming!

This week’s major issue in league has been the amazing lack of a big-name singer at the NRL grand final next weekend, at the very time that the AFL has jagged no less than Kylie Minogue to do the honours. It is all very odd, in such a professional game, to have such an unprofessional outcome, yes?

We have it from the performer Toni Watson, professionally known as Tones and I, that her management was negotiating with the NRL as recently as September 5, before the whole thing fell through because of her refusal to sing her hit, Dance Monkey.

Sorry, what? The grand final is next week, and as recently as three weeks ago, the NRL was still faffing about trying to work out who would do it. By contrast, the AFL had locked in Kylie way back on March 30!

In the face of the debacle – big-name performers are a tradition in both codes, following the American Super Bowl lead – PVL has unleashed spin that would do Shane Warne proud. Tell ’em, Peter: “Our game sells itself. People come to watch rugby league. They don’t come to watch a pop concert.”

Yeah, nah. While the hard-core NRL fans are indeed there for the football, huge swathes of the mob are there for the buzz of the whole thing, and a great show keeps them engaged. Channel Nine has every right to be angry. But go on, Peter.

“No one’s going to really notice if you’ve got 11 minutes of a singer. You don’t buy the cheeseburger for the pickle. Some like the pickle and some don’t. And that’s how I believe the 11 minutes of entertainment is.”

Peter, for that to stack up, you’d have to have no huge singers........

© The Sydney Morning Herald