As the recipient of an unwanted gift, is it necessary to pretend you like it? This is what most of us are trained to do as children; for some it was our first experience of being instructed to lie.

“Thank you,” I might have said to my grandmother, “for this frilly, itchy lace-trimmed dress identical to the one you gave my sister. I love it.”

After lying through your teeth comes the dilemma of what to do with the unwanted itchy dress/humping turtles salt and pepper shakers/patchouli-scented candle. Or the perfume that reminds you of cat urine, the vase shaped like a brick, the hat that looks like an unrolled condom. Do you regift it? Give it to the op shop? What would happen if the giver were to discover this?

I was given a painting by a generous friend – painted by an artist she knew. She asked me what I thought of it and I said it was beautiful. It was – it is – but it wasn’t something I’d have chosen for myself. It wasn’t my style and I didn’t know how to say this politely.

I hung it in the guest bedroom but, when I moved house and had to downsize, I took it to an op shop several suburbs away, thinking I was safe in my subterfuge. Weeks passed before I received a call from this friend.

“You took the painting I gave you to Vinnies!”

Turns out her artist........

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