There's no doubt about it, war's expensive, costing America about US$1 billion a day in Middle East. That's not to mention what we're shelling out for fuel now and, soon, everything else, thanks to what Donald Trump calls his "little excursion".

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Peace is also costly. Look no further than the Pentagon's expenditure in September last year, revealed last week by the US government watchdog, Open The Books.

Before we even get to missiles, bullets and boots, there's this: US$9 million on Alaskan king crab and lobster tails; US$15 million on ribeye steak; US$139,000 on doughnuts; almost US$100,000 on a Steinway grand piano for the Air Force chief of staff's home; US$26,000 for a violin; US$21,750 for a handmade flute; US$12,540 for, wait for it, stands for fruit baskets.

You can't expect Pete Hegseth's war fighters to be lethal if their grapes and persimmons aren't raised to regulation height above the benchtop. And the US Air Force can't win like no one's ever won before in the history of everything if its chief of staff is unable to destress at home with the gentle tinkling of the ivories in the background.

It's so important that the people running the "little excursion" get to kick back at the end of the day, the Pentagon shelled out $US60,000 on high-end recliners, a drop in the ocean of the US$225.6 million spent on new furniture.

Forget boots on the ground; they're on the ottoman.

The comfort spending spree in September was nothing compared with the figure spent on contracts and grants. In one month, the Pentagon shelled out US$90 billion on these. In the last five business days of September, it allocated US $50.1 billion to contracts and grants, more than the annual defence budgets of Italy and Israel.

It all makes Sports Minister Annika Wells' $100,000 UN jaunt look miserly, almost adorable, in comparison.

Why the rush in September? The US government's fiscal year runs from October 1 to September 30 the following year, so September sees a rush to spend allocated funds. If they're not spent in this fiscal year, they're not reallocated the next. It's the use-it-or-lose-it budgetary practice that bedevils governments and corporations everywhere (and explains why your local council hurriedly installs a roundabout where it's absolutely not needed).

One imagines the bean counters, clipboards in hand, scurrying through the labyrinthine corridors of the Pentagon in the frenzied last days of September desperate to find something, anything, to soak up the unused funds.

"A grand piano? Great idea! Why didn't I think of that? Just sign here. Fruit basket stands for everyone. You get a fruit basket stand. You get a fruit basket stand. Everybody gets a fruit basket stand." (Apologies, Oprah.)

One also imagines an ordinary American doing the weekly grocery shop at the local Piggly Wiggly, pausing over the cheap cuts of meat, mindful they have to fill the car's tank on the way home. No lobster tail or rib-eye in their shopping basket.

The Pentagon spending spree makes a mockery of the much-vaunted but short-lived DOGE, Department of Government Efficiency, which the rambunctious Pete Hegseth initially welcomed to cast a cost-cutting eye over his department a year ago.

Having recast himself from Secretary of Defense to Secretary of War, he might also consider rebranding his department. The Department of Government Excess has a nice ring to it.

HAVE YOUR SAY: Is it folly to be making down payments on nuclear subs to a country that thinks nothing of buying a grand piano for a senior Air Force officer? What do you make of Pete Hegseth? When's the last time you bought rib-eye steak or lobster? Email us: echidna@theechidna.com.au

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IN CASE YOU MISSED IT:

- Lower spending on natural disaster relief and strong growth in land values mean NSW will get a smaller share of the GST pool, while the cost to federal taxpayers of filling up Western Australia's coffers rose again.

- "Un-Australian" people exploiting war-driven fuel shortages have been blasted by Energy Minister Chris Bowen as he announced plans to release an extra 800 million litres of petrol and diesel from domestic reserves.

- Passengers handed Qantas flight credits instead of a refund for COVID-19 cancelled flights are set to share $105 million in compensation.

THEY SAID IT: "We need to know when we spend dollars, we need to know where they're going and why, that simple accounting, and that has not existed at the Defense Department." - Pete Hegseth, February 2025

YOU SAID IT: Garry has stopped worrying about not getting a straight eight hours' sleep as science suggests our shut-eye is determined by our own body clocks.

"What a very enlightening read," writes Gayle. "I have much the same nights as you do, as do most of my friends and family. I use to worry that I was growing old before my time by not getting eight hours' sleep a night. Early on my doctor offered sleeping tablets (yuk) but as the years have gone by, my doctor now says that four hours is OK if I feel OK! I still worry sometimes but now you have put that worry to bed."

Emile writes: "Garry, you have a nasty habit of describing a nail perfectly and then hitting it on the head. I'm nearly 80 now and every night before I drop off I resurrect the failed romance of my teens, the love of my life who ditched me as we went into university. Every morning she's there again like Banquo's ghost in a frock. It's wearying this living with ghosts. I used to wake up in the night with angst dialled up to nine, but my doctor stopped that with Mirtazapine which balances my serotonin and noradrenaline and keeps me asleep all night. I wake up at the same time every day, feeling not so much refreshed as capable."

"Your mention of 'the second sleep' reminds me of Robert Harris's book with the same name," writes Michael. "It's set a few centuries in the future when the internet has mysteriously vanished, and populations have reverted to village life. Perhaps this may be better for us all, to help with our sleeping."

Anne Marie writes: "This sets my mind at ease! Some nights I sleep four hours, others the required seven but in spurts. I had worried about not getting the required seven or eight hours but you set my mind at rest (so to speak). In future l shall enjoy reading, a bit of cocoa or wine at 2:30am . After all l have made it to 80 so things can't be that bad."

"I used to worry about how many hours sleep I had per night and then I had children," writes Sue K. "I'm convinced my body adjusts to whatever amount of sleep I can get on a regular basis. With children, you are on call 24/7. You do what you have to to survive the night and hope to catch up on sleep in a day or two. Later, I did shift work and coped with teenage catastrophes. Somehow, my body coped. Now I'm retired and can sleep as long as my brain will allow ... until my daughter brought the grandchildren to live with us and the nighttime hours were not mine anymore! It's amazing how a cry of 'Nana!' in the night, can raise me from the depths of sleep."

Sue B. writes: "I grew up on three hours sleep a night. In my late 60s that three hours extended to four to six hours. My eldest grew up on two hours a night, at least until he became a teenager. In all that time I only had one doctor who accepted that I seemed to be functioning quite well and didn't want to drug me to ensure the required eight hours. On the one occasion a doctor did put me on sleeping tablets, I was totally wired all night and a zombie the following day, so that didn't last long."

"My theory is that those who are blessed with the ability to fall asleep before their head hits the pillow are always married to the insomniacs," writes Helen. "I overcame my lifelong insomnia by learning to go to bed and get up at the same time every day, and not panic when I can't sleep. If I am awake for far too long I get up, make a cup of tea and read for a while until I feel sleepy. That usually helps."

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