Holiday celebrations involving gift giving can be roller coasters. The excitement of tearing into gifts is often mixed with intense anticipation – and sometimes, disappointment.

After investing time, thought and money into creating a magical day, it can feel confronting when your child reacts negatively to a present. If it’s a gift you’ve chosen, you might feel hurt or frustrated. When it’s from a relative or friend, embarrassment can creep in, as you’re caught between wanting to acknowledge your child’s feelings, and worrying about offending the giver.

You might wonder whether you’ve failed to teach gratitude, or worry your child seems spoiled. But disappointment is difficult for children and a normal part of emotional development. Your child’s feelings at this time can also be an opportunity for connection and learning.

Special occasions amplify everything: joy, excitement, anticipation … and comparison. Children are surrounded by holiday advertising and talk among friends, which can make their own wishes feel especially vivid and urgent.

But this isn’t simply about materialism.

Developmental stages shape how children experience gifts. In early and middle childhood, kids are actively forming their sense of self — who they are, what they like, and how they fit into their world. Particular toys, clothes, or brands can take on symbolic meaning,........

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