After the stress of a recent divorce waned and Ryan settled into a new routine, he noticed a huge spike in his libido. The thing is, that’s the last thing he wanted.

Ryan works two jobs in cybersecurity in addition to being a single dad. He doesn’t have time for a relationship and knows he is not ready for one. Yet he found himself looking for a partner for the sake of gratification. So, he turned to the internet to find a remedy to curb his libido instead.

“The more I thought about it, the more I didn’t want a romantic relationship,” Ryan, who requested to use his first name only, told Salon in a phone interview. “I’d rather just take something that can help me manage my libido and not have to worry about it.”

Online, Ryan was recommended everything from supplements like Lion’s mane mushrooms and chasteberry to antidepressants like selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and finasteride, a drug for hair loss sometimes used to treat prostate conditions. Elsewhere on the internet, others recommend men who want to lower their libido go so far as to put their testicles in ice water or punch their penis. Many people dismissed Ryan’s problem and told him to just “find a girlfriend,” instead.

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“I’m still kind of in the process of self-discovery of exactly what I am but I think I am a bit more on the aromantic side,” Ryan said. “So it’s hard for me to be told to just go find someone special because I don’t have any desire to do that.”

Men are increasingly turning to the internet to find ways to lower libido and finding communities that push toxic ideas connecting masculinity to sexual desire. Due to stigma, many are pursuing unproven treatments recommended on social media that could have serious health consequences. Finasteride, for example, carries a boxed warning for suicidal ideation.

"I didn’t want a........

© Salon