I asked ChatGPT to play Santa this year. Its gift for my mom was deadly

I tried using AI to shop for Christmas gifts, and it kept mistaking intimacy for inventory — right up to the “smart” jump rope it wanted my mom to survive

Photo by Catherine Ivill; AMA/Getty Images

Gift-giving, at its very best, is a tiny act of surveillance that feels like a whole lot of love. So every December, I become Santa Shannon: part curator, part private investigator, part small-business logistics manager with a Pinterest addiction and too many open tabs. I have a running Notes app list of gift ideas, the way normal people have groceries and to-dos. I’ve collected offhand comments, fleeting obsessions, and “This would look perfect in my home” texts starting way back in March as if they’re scouting reports — because nothing hits like watching someone unwrap proof you were paying attention. 

Being Santa Shannon is very fun. Being Santa Shannon is also very tiring.

I’ve written a lot about

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