The Dark Side of Romance: Bad Thoughts Spark Bad Behavior
You see the small bouquet of flowers outside your front door as you approach. Impressed with the gorgeous arrangement, you reach for the card. It contains a simple, complimentary statement, and is signed “Your secret admirer.” Looking around, you don’t see anyone in the vicinity and have no idea who it is from. Should you be flattered or frightened? That depends on what your secret fan is thinking—about you.
As stalking victims can attest and as I have studied for years as a sex crimes prosecutor, there is such a thing as negative attention. Many victims in cases I have handled have shared their initial reactions to learning they had a secret admirer. Some were skeptical, some were surprised. But others were flattered—particularly when they did not consider themselves attractive or were not used to receiving selective attention. The issue from a safety perspective, however, is the nature of that attention. Because attention fuels intention which fuels........
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