If you're dating, or browse dating sites, you've probably noticed people saying that they're kinky. Does that mean they're not dateable? Well, if you're revolted by any kind of kink, you're probably not a match. If you're curious or open, kink isn't a reason to rule them out.

Although you may not like their particular thing now, you might get to like it. Or it might not be so important to them.

There's an important "but" here. If you date someone who enjoys inflicting pain, you are increasing your chance of getting involved with a questionable person. That might seem like common sense, but it's worth repeating. At the same time, many people would love to spank you who are law-abiding and could be a good partner. In fact, recent evidence suggests that everyday doms and dommes are just as empathic as other people.

Kink fantasies are common. According to a 2019 survey of the research, 40 to 70 percent of the population report having them. This same research overview concluded that people who engage in kink behavior (possibly as many as 20 percent of us) are no more likely to be troubled. They're also not usually focused on just one activity—don't assume he'll only want to suck your toes or be spanked. He probably likes his kink in addition to the full range.

Generally, kink seems to be a leisure activity (it's not always even sexual in the sense of producing orgasm) and, perhaps especially for dominants,........

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