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Teaching kids to expect worries helps them feel empowered to "test" worry, rather than "trust" it.

We can help kids separate from fears by asking, "what is worry saying to you," not, "why are you worried?"

Kids can learn to shrink their fears through fact-checking, right-size risk, and approach one step at a time.

Welcome to a new school year!

As kids are settling into the rhythms of the new year, the fears they brought with them—“Will I have friends? Will the teacher be nice?” have quieted down, but likely others have popped in—the book report, the class camping trip, the cafeteria dynamics. When families experience what feels like a whack-a-mole dynamic with fears—resolve one, and another (or two or three) takes its place, it’s easy to think, “We’ll never get anywhere!” But that’s not how it has to be.

Expecting Anxiety Doesn’t Mean Expecting Your Child to Be Anxious

If we want kids to be equipped to navigate their emotions wherever they land, one thing we need to do is help them expect certain emotions to come up—what comes up most? Anxiety.

Fears and worries are normal and expected parts of life—but just waiting for them to pass is not our only option. Anxiety thrives on what is unfamiliar or uncertain. It sets off an alarm. By expecting fears and worries, we can teach kids what anxiety is and what to do next. When we help kids expect anxiety as a super-fast, no-fault worst-case scenario narrative that always gets there first, kids can be prepared when it shows up, not scared by what it’s telling them. They can learn that their job is to test worry, not trust it. Rather than feeling their only choices are being stuck stressing or avoiding, they can learn to unpack their fears, analyze instead of catastrophize. That’s what it means to get ahead of anxiety.

Where Do We Go From Here?........

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