What Are Adverse Childhood Experiences?

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Emotional neglect shapes identity and drives the search for belonging in risky environments.

Chronic stress in childhood affects emotional regulation and decision-making over time.

Early hardship does not determine the future; different outcomes remain possible.

I was recently invited to speak at an online conference on dangerous minds, violence, and the growing sense of chaos across the islands of San Andrés, Old Providence, and Santa Catalina in Colombia. The conversation opened a space that felt honest and necessary, and at the end, I encouraged those listening to write and share how violence had shaped their lives.

In the days that followed, many messages began to arrive. Each one carried a story, sometimes brief, sometimes heavy, yet all of them revealed how deeply these experiences continue to affect the archipelago. As I read through them, one message stood out to me more than the others, not because it was louder, but because it revealed something that often remains hidden behind what people later call dangerous behavior.

The message came from a young man I will call Victor, 18 years old, who chose to write not only to tell his story but to make sure others could see that a different path is still possible.

A Childhood Without Rest

The memories he shared carry the weight of years that moved without pause. Many mornings began without breakfast, and school became a place he entered already carrying hunger in silence. Returning home did not always bring relief, since there were days when nothing awaited him there. He learned early how to take care of himself in ways no child should have to learn. Washing his own school uniform became part of his routine, as something life required from him. No one stood nearby to remind him or to notice what was missing, and over time, he understood that he had to manage on his own.

At 9 years old, he began to fish so he could eat. Looking back on that time, he reflects with a quiet honesty, recognizing how different those years should have been. Childhood, in his words, should have been filled with play, not shaped around the food search. While other children were playing on the beach, he was hunting for his own food.

Living With Violence Inside the Home

Life at home carried a weight that never seemed to lift. The environment around him felt unstable, and each day unfolded with a tension that slowly became familiar. What should have been a place of protection became a space where he had to remain alert, learning to read moods and moments to avoid harm.

His father struggled with drug addiction, and that struggle often led to abuse. Fear settled into ordinary routines, shaping how he moved and how he responded to those around him. His mother spent long hours working at a hotel, trying to keep the household afloat, yet her absence left important needs unmet, and the sense of being alone remained constant.

Over time, these experiences began to shape something deeper within him. Research continues to show how early exposure to neglect and instability affects emotional development and the way young people respond to stress later in life. Chronic stress during childhood can alter emotional regulation and increase vulnerability to later risk behaviors. Similarly, environments marked with violence and absence can lead young people to search for belonging in places that offer identity, even when those spaces carry risk (Adjei and colleagues, 2025; Castell Britton, 2025; Katembu et al., 2023).

What Are Adverse Childhood Experiences?

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The Moment He Almost Took Another Path

As the years moved forward, the weight of those experiences did not disappear. It began to gather in quieter ways, shaping how he saw himself and where he believed he belonged. Anger found its place within him, not as something sudden, but as something that had been building over time, formed through absence, hunger, and the constant need to endure.

Another path slowly came into view. The streets offered a sense of recognition that had been missing for years, a space where his presence could matter and where belonging did not have to be earned in silence. A gang began to feel less like a risk and more like an answer to everything he had carried for so long.

There was a moment when that decision stood close. What gives this moment its depth is not only the risk he faced, but the awareness he held as he stood there. He recognized what that path could become, and even with everything behind him, he did not fully surrender to it.

A Different Ending Begins

What gives his story a different direction is not only what he went through, but what he chose to do with it. He completed high school, earned a scholarship, and now prepares to enter university, carrying with him a past that could have taken him somewhere very different. His decision did not come from an easy place; it grew slowly through reflection, effort, and the willingness to see another possibility for his life.

He shared his story because he wants other young people to understand that pain does not have to decide the outcome. His words carry honesty and also a sense of direction that many around him may still be searching for. There is something steady in what he expresses, a reminder that even when everything feels uncertain, there is still space to choose differently.

To those who may recognize parts of their own story in his, the message remains clear. What has been lived does not define what comes next, and the future need not repeat the past. Even in places where violence and chaos feel close, there is still a path that leads somewhere else, and sometimes that path begins with a single decision that no one else can see.

Adjei, N. K., et al (2025). Impact of family childhood adversity on risk of violence and involvement with police in adolescence: Findings from the UK Millennium Cohort Study. Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, 79(6), 459–465.

Castell Britton, S. (2025). Dangerous Minds: Psychology of pain, crime, and reparation. Zenodo.

Katembu, S., Zahedi, A., & Sommer, W. (2023). Childhood trauma and violent behavior in adolescents are differentially related to cognitive-emotional deficits. Frontiers in Public Health, 11, 1001132.

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