Parting with my cherished porcelain collection has been far more challenging than I ever imagined. Selling through auctions, which I discussed in an earlier essay, was only the beginning. I’ve ventured into other avenues as well, scattering my pieces across the globe.

A few select pieces currently reside in a reputable New York City (NYC) showroom, awaiting buyers. I consigned them to this dealer after a frustrating experience with a major NYC auction house (above). Four years passed, and still, my pieces at the dealer sit unsold.

What went wrong? Despite the prices being fair—they were carefully calculated to cover my costs and the dealer’s profit—there’s been no movement. Taking them back, however, would only lead to the auction block, likely at lower prices. It’s a gamble I hesitate to make. But leaving them in limbo feels equally futile.

The idea of reclaiming my porcelain feels like an act of self-preservation. If these items remain with the dealer when I pass away, my family won’t know they exist, let alone benefit from their sale. The loss of revenue would be invisible, but it’s a loss, nonetheless.

One of my pieces has embarked on an unexpected European adventure. After being shipped via FedEx for an exhibition in London, it ran into bureaucratic red tape and couldn’t return to the U.S. Without proper documentation, it’s now stranded overseas.

A kind dealer retrieved it from the exhibition and tried to sell it but with no luck. My only way to bring it home involves a trip to Europe, where I’d find it in one of the dealer’s locations and carry it back as hand luggage. Given porcelain’s fragility, checked luggage is out of the question.

Most of my collection remains at home. While some pieces are proudly displayed, others languish in closets, unseen and unappreciated.

One particularly grand item—a Chinese water cistern from 1740—is currently relegated to propping up luggage. It’s a tragic fate for an artifact that deserves to be showcased in a museum.

What if we started thinking about “deaccessioning” the moment we began collecting? The truth is no one escapes the inevitable need to downsize. Death and taxes may be life’s only certainties, but the necessity of deaccessioning comes close.

Here are some strategies to make the process less painful:

1. Start Early: Begin planning your collection’s future as soon as you acquire your first piece.

2. Trade Up: Sell several items to buy one exceptional piece, making your collection smaller and more valuable.

3. Prioritize Deaccessioning: The longer you wait, the more overwhelming it becomes.

4. Manage Expectations: Remember that we often overvalue what we own. Accept offers that may seem low but are fair in the market.

5. Spread the Word: Let others know you’re selling. The more people who are aware, the better your chances of finding new homes for your treasures.

Letting go of a collection isn’t just a logistical challenge—it’s an emotional journey. But by planning ahead, embracing change, and recognizing the importance of giving these treasures a second life, we can ease the transition and ensure our cherished items continue to be valued, even when we’re no longer their caretakers.

© Psychology Today