The personality trait most associated with relationship success is, no surprise, agreeableness (on a continuum with antagonism). People with higher agreeableness tend to trust others' motives and communicate in a straightforward manner; they care deeply about the plight of others.

On the other hand, people with lower agreeableness may have difficulty trusting others or may be suspicious of others' motives. They might sometimes be combative or value being right over getting along with others.

In contrast to more biologically-based personality traits (e.g., the tendency to experience negative emotions or act on impulse), difficulties relating to other people are often the result of life experiences. These experiences can include not receiving enough support growing up, being cheated on or broken up abruptly, or even experiencing abuse. People with these experiences may find it difficult to trust others (which makes perfect sense).

If you feel vulnerable or unsafe in relationships, you might behave in ways to protect yourself (e.g., abruptly ending a conversation or lashing out in anger). For example, you might feel abandoned (and angry) when your partner comes home after work an hour late and hasn't texted you. You might repeatedly text them several angry messages and continue to yell when they get home.

These behaviors are understandable if you have had negative experiences in the past. Unfortunately, the intensity of the anxiety or anger can cloud your ability to see what it is you really wanted—a nice night with your partner—and can actually make the rest of the night, and perhaps even the relationship itself, worse off.........

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