Amidst swift socio-political change, workplaces are increasingly seen as spaces where people seek care, concern, and connection from others. But workplace empathy appears to be in short supply. At the end of 2023, employees in the U.S. were significantly less likely to feel that someone at work cared about them than they were four years prior. Still, empathy continues to be recognized as one of the most important leadership skills. Why then do we continue to have an empathy problem at work?

The leaders I coach have cited seven recurring reasons for their empathy shortcomings. While empathy may not be easy for everyone, it’s often misunderstood. In this post, rather than reiterating the case for empathetic leadership, I will dispel the persistent myths that hinder leaders from being as empathetic as they'd like to be. I’ll then propose a powerful way to sustain empathy: disarming yourself and others.

Reality: This is the most cited excuse. While time constraints are a real concern, investing time in demonstrating empathy can yield long-term benefits in team cohesion, trust, and productivity. New research helps us understand why some people are more interested in being empathetic. “Empathy Investors” are motivated when they see positive outcomes of their efforts. When done consistently, empathy doesn’t need any “extra” time. Empathy is an attitude, not a task, and it can be expressed non-verbally and verbally. A sincere and quick, “I understand how you feel,” can go a long way.

Reality: Empathy is a trainable skill, not an inherent........

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