In the high-stakes environment of leadership, managing emotions isn’t just helpful—it’s essential. But what does emotional regulation really mean? It’s more than simply “keeping your cool.” It’s about understanding your triggers, recognizing stress, and finding ways to respond rather than react.

Take Sandra, a client who described herself as being “cool and calm 99% of the time, even in intense emergencies,” but felt that her usual calm demeanor unraveled during a recent meeting, which felt unexpected and disappointing to her.

Here’s what happened.

Sandra entered the meeting prepared, data in hand and fully ready for a productive discussion. However, things didn’t go as planned. The person she was speaking with, let’s call him Tim, was technically a superior but not directly her boss. He questioned her ideas in a way that felt dismissive. Sandra’s frustration grew, and despite her expertise, she found herself raising her voice. “Tim, I’ve got a Ph.D. in this. I’m the expert, and you’re not listening,” she said. Tim responded with a shocked expression and ended the meeting abruptly, saying, “I’m going to elevate this to higher leadership.”

The outcome left Sandra feeling frustrated, embarrassed, and ultimately disappointed in herself. The reality is that Sandra is a highly capable, competent, respected, and........

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