When you realize you’ve fallen for a lie, it’s cognitively exhausting. Second-guessing begins. Was a relationship a sham? What did you miss in that job description that seemingly fit your education before being assigned menial tasks?

What led you to believe stump speeches and rallied resentment that now you see as nonsensical, even menacing?

In It’s Not You, Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D., details how people fall for attention-seeking and deceit projected onto others. Narcissism hijacks well-being with the middle spectrum having enough bad days to take a toll but enough good to keep one hooked.

Classic signs of lying: manipulation, exploitation, gaslighting, antagonism, and arrogance. Trusting people feeds these behaviors, granting narcissistic supply, Durvasula writes. “Anyone around them must bring supply or face their wrath.”

Most people don’t think like a manipulator, but attempting darker thoughts may work here.

“Acting as if” is a cognitive-behavioral technique. Walking in someone’s shoes typically fosters empathy. Not that you feel for the con artist or fast-talker who sold you something or got you to cast a vote.

Imagine you want something so badly. What would you do to get it? Jot down ideas. Imagine sacrificing your values to achieve the end. In this hypothetical, be a villain to get a glimpse into how others obfuscate, muddle, bewilder, and blur lines of human decency. To cover up a lack of substance, some self-aggrandize or just make stuff up.

Addiction can fuel lying for the next fix. With romance, love bombs ingratiate. In the 2024 election, some chucked party loyalty because their values........

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