The winter holidays have always been hard for me.

When I was a child, I was autistic but not yet diagnosed, and I would cry every Christmas.

My parents were flabbergasted and sometimes impatient because they didn’t understand why I was melting down at a time when everyone was supposed to be happy.

Now, as an adult, I finally have a diagnosis of autism, which gives me some wisdom about what happens to me as the year comes to a close. When late November rolls around, I grow irritable and exhausted and have trouble concentrating and sleeping.

When I notice the calendar, I can make the connection between my struggles and the time of year. The nights are long, and the pressure of the holiday season has begun to build. So, I set to work relieving this pressure so that I can find joy with my family instead of anxiety, depression, and burnout.

If you are neurodivergent, you might also find the winter holidays a paradoxical time—you’re supposed to be happy, but instead you’re suffering. Here are some ideas for how you, too, can make the holidays more bearable, and even joyful.

I spoke about holiday stress and neurodiversity with Lisa Cooper Ellison, an author, speaker, and trauma-informed writing coach with an Ed.S in clinical mental health counseling.

She is also a trauma survivor diagnosed with C-PTSD who experienced chronic childhood neglect and abuse.

Ellison’s words shine a light on why neurodivergent people like herself struggle at the holidays: “Winter is a time of slowing down, shutting off, and turning in,” Ellison says. “Our biology changes along with the seasons:........

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