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6 Things I Wish I Knew Before My Kid's First IEP Meeting

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16.01.2026

The Individualized Education Plan (IEP) and 504 process is confusing, emotionally draining, and frustrating. Even after you have a plan in place, teachers don't always follow it. Here's what I learned the hard way—and what you need to know before walking into that meeting room.

When I learned this rule, I lost faith in the accommodations process as something I could trust the state to handle without me being hands-on. I pointed out that my intellectually gifted autistic child was managing only a C average—well below his academic potential. The committee told me that the school's job is only to ensure that my kid receives an "adequate" education, not to help him reach his potential.

They were right, legally speaking. A 1982 Supreme Court case established that the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) "does not require a State to maximize the potential of each handicapped child." IDEA just gets our kids through the door, nothing more.

So, come to IEP meetings knowing that schools are only required to provide "free appropriate public education." If you want more for your child—and you should—you'll need to fight for it explicitly.

Many parents don't know they can bring a support person to IEP meetings. This person can be anyone: a friend, an advocate, or a lawyer. Education advocates are experts who guide parents through the accommodations process and........

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