As a relationship therapist, I’ve seen many couples trapped by seemingly innocent misconceptions that, if left unchecked, can unravel the deepest of bonds. These “relationship lies” often begin as self-protective beliefs, perhaps to explain a disagreement or justify a problematic feeling. Yet, these lies become barriers that erode trust, empathy, and connection over time.

In my book, Why Can’t You Read My Mind? I explain how empathy is the emotional glue that holds relationships together. Empathy is one of the first things we suffer when we let these common relationship myths slip into our lives.

Let’s explore the four biggest lies that silently sabotage relationships, with examples to highlight how these play out in real life. Most importantly, I’ll share how you and your partner can spot these myths before they become habits—and how to replace them with more robust, compassionate beliefs.

The Trap: This lie assumes that true love means being perfectly in sync. It’s the belief that if a partner loves us enough, they should intuitively know what we’re feeling, thinking, or needing.

Example: Take the case of Mira and Keegan, a couple married for seven years. Mira frequently felt that Keegan should “just know” when she needed comfort after a difficult day. When he didn’t, she started to doubt his love. This created resentment, with Mira often withdrawing from Keegan emotionally, waiting for him to “prove” his love by reaching out without her........

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