When faced with the possibility of a breakup, it can feel like you’re on the brink of losing everything that matters most. The urge to act desperately or make grand promises is common, but those reactions often backfire, pushing your partner away instead of bringing them closer.

While you can’t force someone to stay in a relationship against their will, there are constructive ways to influence your partner positively and encourage them to reconsider. Based on my work counseling couples, these four strategies focus on rebuilding trust, reigniting connection, and demonstrating your willingness to grow rather than trying to control the outcome.

When relationships reach a breaking point, communication often deteriorates, leaving both partners feeling misunderstood. One of the most powerful ways to positively influence your partner’s feelings is to start listening truly. This doesn’t mean just hearing what they say; it involves actively listening to understand them better. As I explain in my book, Why Can’t You Read My Mind? this is about setting aside your need to respond or prove your point and, instead, being fully present.

Take the example of Leo and Marissa. After several months of constant arguments, Marissa told Leo she needed space. Instead of arguing, Leo asked Marissa what she felt was missing in their relationship. As she opened up........

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