As a parent, seeing your child consumed by a meltdown is hard. Whether they’re frustrated, hurt, or overwhelmed, big feelings can lead to intense outbursts that leave you feeling powerless. In these moments, four simple words can help: “I see you’re struggling.” Your child may feel acknowledged and bring a surprising sense of calm to both of you. While it may feel counterintuitive to speak such simple words when a storm of emotion is raging, they offer recognition of pain and frustration, often the keys to bringing the intensity down.

This approach to calming children in heated moments draws from principles encouraging gentle, understanding responses to help ease defiant behavior. Let’s explore why these words work so well, how you can use them effectively, and some practical tips for keeping calm during these difficult moments.

When a child, like 7-year-old Lina, is in the midst of a meltdown, they’re often unable to process complex reasoning or respond to commands. Saying, “I see you’re struggling,” lets them know that you’re not there to argue or try to “fix” them in that moment. It’s validating without........

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