I was so happy to hear from my child's teacher that he was doing so great at school—cooperative, empathetic, a leader—even though I was totally confused by this. At home he is defiant, bosses us around, is mean to his brother all the time.

Then, I started reading that this is called "masking" and is a really bad thing and is harmful to kids—that they are faking it to conform, to be accepted—and not able to be their true selves. Now I don't know what to think or do about this.

Being much better behaved at school than at home is a very common phenomenon for the kids in my practice. Why does this happen?

A recent theory that is getting a lot of attention is that kids are "masking," a term typically used to describe when people with ASD (autism spectrum disorder) try to act like their neurotypical peers in order to conform. As it relates to autism, masking is considered detrimental because it is exhausting and studies have shown that it can increase anxiety and depression.1

I hear this term now being more broadly applied to kids who do not have ASD but who exhibit confusing behavioral differences at school and home. I'm not a scientist, but even scientists can't always know exactly what is happening in........

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