Condescending bosses patronize and talk down to you. These bosses have an exaggerated opinion of themselves and a devaluated opinion of others. They may be intellectual snobs who only tacitly permit you to join the discussion. They then ignore your ideas, zapping you with put-downs as they downplay your suggestions.

Condescending bosses are quick to grasp the full implications of a problem and faster than you are at seeing solutions. They are also insulting when they allow you to do something on your own: “This is an easy job. Molly can handle it.”

What You’re Thinking: My boss is really very smart about the business, but he never learned to act with tact. Everyone puts up with his abrasive manner because he gets results. I guess I’m fortunate that his rude comments are not directed solely at me. He shares his arrogance among all of us. I make a point and he adds another aspect to it. Fine, but why does he have to preface it with, “What Molly was trying to say is…”? I am perfectly capable of expressing myself, so why do I let him make me feel like an idiot?

What They're Thinking: That was sheer genius, the way I got the Board to go along with the proposal. Anticipating every reaction, I had all the facts and figures to allay their concerns. My staff is still panting, trying to keep up with me. I wish they would stop offering me their ideas after they get themselves into a mess. It is their distorted thinking that brings on the problems in the first place, and they need my clear analysis to bail them out. I must remind them before the next crisis to bring me only the problem, not their misguided solutions.

It’s safe to assume that these bosses have been applauded for accomplishments all their lives, and no one ever bothered to teach them humility. They believe they are excellent administrators. It’s unlikely that anything you say will change them or soften and mellow their overbearing rudeness. What you can change is your reaction to their lack of tact. Also, you can guard against a possible unwarranted attack.

Tip: The boss’s condescending remarks will diminish in proportion to the amount of increased respect you are able to earn. They’re clever and conceited; you can be clever and considerate. Be ready with facts that you have double- and triple-checked for accuracy. Acknowledge that they are the boss, but when you get the go-ahead, move quickly and confidently—and keep them informed.