By Nicky Wake

The first Christmas after my husband Andy died was the moment I realised grief doesn’t pause for the festive season.

In fact, it can hit harder than ever. I remember walking into the dining room and seeing the empty chair where he used to sit. It felt like the whole world stopped. One simple piece of furniture, and suddenly the weight of the season became unbearable.

Andy died in 2020, three years after a catastrophic cardiac arrest left him with a severe brain injury. During those years, I spent Christmas juggling hospital visits, impossible decisions and the emotional gymnastics of trying to create magic for our son, Finn, while quietly falling apart. But nothing prepared me for the first year he wasn’t here at all. No beeping machines, no care updates, just silence. And an empty chair.

Every familiar part of Christmas felt sharpened. The music in shops, the adverts on TV, friends posting their matching-pyjama........

© LBC