There's no polishing this turd. Canberra people are full of crap.

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Hold your affront. This isn't my prejudice speaking, nor my innate distrust of bureaucrats and the political class who inhabit the national capital. It's the finding of the latest Movicol Constipation State of the Nation report.

A survey of 2055 Australian adults, commissioned by the company which sells Movicol stool hydrator, ranked the ACT as the country's most constipated jurisdiction, with 20 per cent of the population experiencing difficulty doing their business, followed by Tasmania, with 18 per cent afflicted. Lucky last was the Northern Territory, reporting the lowest incidence of constipation.

Like you, I'm shocked. I had no idea there was a Constipation State of the Nation report. Nor was I remotely aware 86 per cent of the population experienced difficult downloads in the past year.

As for "stool hydrators", surely that's a fancy word for laxatives. No surprise that a company which sells them wants to highlight the fact too many of us are gummed up and are too polite to talk about it.

As a society, the report tells us, we're hamstrung by "stool stigma", a reluctance to talk about that most basic bodily function. Yet 60 per cent of survey respondents said a satisfying poo helped their sense of mental wellbeing. Troublesome movements - or lack thereof - led to feelings of frustration and annoyance. One in three felt compromised and not at their best when constipated and one in five said constipation had ruined holidays.

The main causes of constipation are lack of dietary fibre, dehydration, lack of physical activity and ignoring the need to go. Too much dairy, high in fat and calcium and low in fibre, is another culprit. Some medications can also clog up the works.

Changes to routine - travelling being the big one - can also contribute to rectal reluctance. The state of the dunnies also plays a part. I'm told it's been fixed now but an encounter with the public toilet at Tarago near Goulburn during a road trip was so horrific I couldn't poo for days after. A trip around India years ago was so confronting I kept everything in until a stomach bug intervened and I couldn't stop it coming........

© Canberra Times