How do you solve a problem like Bill Shorten?

For months, the “Shorten for Paris” chatter has bubbled away in the caucus, just beneath the surface, offering a potential solution to Anthony Albanese.

Every so often a “senior government source” will swear it is true and then another “senior source” will deny it and the chatter will deflate like an old souffle.

Bill Shorten, centre, shares a laugh with colleagues Matt Keogh, Andrew Giles, Stephen Jones, Anthony Albanese and Brendan O’Connor.Credit: Alex Ellinghausen

Australia’s ambassador to France, Gillian Bird, was appointed in October 2020. There was little fanfare – Australians were pre-occupied by COVID. Later this year, after the Paris Olympics, the career diplomat’s appointment is due to end.

After 17 years in parliament and six years as opposition leader, no one doubts Shorten’s chops as a minister or as an accomplished media performer.

But that’s the problem. Albanese can be a little verbose at times, and Shorten – after all those years loading up and letting the zingers fly – has still got it when it comes to delivering a cut-through line.

Former Labor leader Bill Shorten and Prime Minister Anthony Albanese.Credit: Alex Ellinghausen

Maybe that $300,000-a-year speechwriter is earning her keep.

For a Labor government being knocked from pillar to post on immigration policy – and a prime minister who needs a pretext to shift the beleaguered ministers Andrew Giles and Clare O’Neil – sending the NDIS minister to Paris could be the solution parfait.

After more than a decade of hopping on the plane and flying from suburban Moonee Ponds to the even more suburban bush capital, who could begrudge Shorten, wife Chloe and their family a three-year sojourn in the city of love?

The Harry Seidler-designed Australian embassy in Paris, on the banks of the majestic Seine, offers stunning views of the Eiffel Tower just a few hundred metres away.

But when the Paris posting rumour resurfaced on Thursday – “senior public service chiefs” had discussed it! Shorten’s wife is actually called Clothilde and speaks French! – Shorten was ready with a bon motif of his own when he took a question about the NDIS.

As Shorten stepped to the dispatch box, Peter Dutton leaned over to ask if there would be any French in the answer.

There would be “no au revoir today, my friend” Shorten shot back at the opposition leader, causing both sides of the House to erupt in laughter at the trademark zinger.

Chris Bowen couldn’t resist a quick jab at Dutton about his role in approving visas for a couple of well-connected au pairs in the last term of parliament, either.

The mirth capped off a hectic, hard-charging fortnight that has left most MPs exhausted and happy to head off in their Comcars to the airport.

The Shorten for Paris rumour may come true (there is also a persistent rumour that Julie Bishop could get the posting).

For months, government spokespeople insisted that Kevin Rudd would never be named our man in Washington – it simply wasn’t true until, one day, it was.

Somewhat surprisingly, the NDIS spokesman is headed to Switzerland next month to represent Australia at a Ukraine peace conference summit, too.

If Albanese did offer Shorten the Paris post, before the former union leader said “oui” he would have to accept he could never be prime minister.

And though Shorten might be a little outside the circle of trust in the Albanese government, his approach to politics has always been “je ne regrette rien”.

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QOSHE - The Paris paradox: Why Albanese can’t send Shorten to France just yet - James Massola
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The Paris paradox: Why Albanese can’t send Shorten to France just yet

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06.06.2024

How do you solve a problem like Bill Shorten?

For months, the “Shorten for Paris” chatter has bubbled away in the caucus, just beneath the surface, offering a potential solution to Anthony Albanese.

Every so often a “senior government source” will swear it is true and then another “senior source” will deny it and the chatter will deflate like an old souffle.

Bill Shorten, centre, shares a laugh with colleagues Matt Keogh, Andrew Giles, Stephen Jones, Anthony Albanese and Brendan O’Connor.Credit: Alex Ellinghausen

Australia’s ambassador to France, Gillian Bird, was appointed in October 2020. There was little fanfare – Australians were pre-occupied by COVID. Later this year, after the Paris Olympics, the career diplomat’s appointment is due to end.

After 17 years in parliament and six years as opposition leader, no one doubts Shorten’s chops as a minister or as an accomplished media........

© Brisbane Times


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