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Zoe Williams

Zoe Williams

The Guardian

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My sausage-like fingers are not sexy. But they have given me one incredible talent

Very early in life, I perfected one skill: I can carry four pints at once. I put them in a straightforward quadrant; nothing dumb like balancing one...

16.07.2024 10

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Forget the football! Eleven days into a Labour government, here are reasons to be hopeful

Looking for a boost on a grey day full of awful news, I was trying to remember the last time I felt politically optimistic. Was it for a real reason,...

15.07.2024 9

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Making Britain’s voting system fairer won’t enable parties like Reform – it’s the only way to challenge them

The classic argument for a first past the post (FPTP) voting system was that it kept the cranks at bay and delivered a stable, two-party system, with...

10.07.2024 30

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

My kids are holidaying without me – and I’m worried they’ll repeat my foreign faux pas

I’ve been racking my brain for all the things that have ever gone wrong, in the history of teenage train travel between me and my sister, because...

09.07.2024 10

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Angela Rayner’s suit and Victoria Starmer’s secret power: why do I suddenly smell sexism?

I didn’t have powerful 1997 vibes last week, and not because I was too busy grumbling; I also hit the ground complaining about Tony Blair. But one...

08.07.2024 20

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

The truth about vaginas: how I became a committed vulva-splainer

I have a stick up my arse about the difference between “less” and “fewer”, and women in the generations below have the same about “vagina”...

02.07.2024 20

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Joe Biden was a winner, once. It’s a huge risk to assume he can win again

I remember when people thought the free world was in peril because its self-appointed leader didn’t have a big enough vocabulary. There were also...

01.07.2024 5

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

With our futures at stake, Sunak and Starmer argued like managers of an imperilled golf club

Two cliches hovered over Wednesday night’s TV debate between Keir Starmer and Rishi Sunak – the first that the stakes were high, the second that...

27.06.2024 10

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

From Starmer’s Labour to Farage’s Reform – could we build a better Britain using party manifestos?

It is true that election manifestos can’t be compared like with like – and in recent years, the variation of detail, trustworthiness and meaning...

26.06.2024 20

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

I’m really excited about this election – and even Nigel Farage can’t extinguish my delight

However much you check yourself against groupthink, we all swim in the same ocean and meet the same fish. Between the sight of a triumphant Nigel...

25.06.2024 20

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

The nature march had a huge turnout – so why didn’t it make bigger news?

When Just Stop Oil covered Stonehenge with orange cornflour last week, Keir Starmer was called upon to decry the act, which he dutifully did, even...

24.06.2024 70

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Starmer fighting one seat, Corbyn the one next door: a schism and a symbol of battles to come

It was four weeks before election day when I spoke to one member of the constituency Labour party in Holborn and St Pancras, in central London, as he...

20.06.2024 40

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

This should be the climate election. Instead we are in a frustrating, Farage-obsessed fantasyland

I’m sitting in a room with Catherine Mayer and Sandi Toksvig, who founded the Women’s Equality party (WEP) nine years ago, and Caroline Lucas and...

18.06.2024 9

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Why does Father’s Day always mean more work for mothers?

It was Father’s Day morning, and my friend and I were comparing notes on whose offspring were the least prepared: if you thought children were...

17.06.2024 10

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Within Labour’s manifesto lies the blueprint of a different Britain. I hope it builds it

“We can stop the chaos, turn the page, and start to rebuild our country,” declares Labour’s manifesto. With faith in politics at an all-time...

13.06.2024 7

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

How much do you love your children? With prom season approaching, it’s time for more competitive parenting

When our kids are small, parents flex at each other over things such as food (crisps or not?), toys (wooden or plastic?), screens (none or loads?) –...

11.06.2024 8

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Why do Tories keep repeating their £2,000 tax smear? Because Brexit convinced them that lying works

Rishi Sunak’s claim that Labour would cost every family two grand was debunked almost as soon as it was out of his mouth. You could say it was...

10.06.2024 80

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Stormy Daniels has never been cowed. And now, she is vindicated

In the opening scene of Stormy, the documentary about Stormy Daniels’ life, she says: “I have just been tormented for the last five years or so....

04.06.2024 30

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Getting fit is great – but it could turn you into a rightwing jerk

OK, this is going to sound a little hypocritical, as I have hard-recommended every activity and pursuit, every wellness wheeze and rejuvenation...

03.06.2024 300

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Six televised rounds of Starmer v Sunak? I can’t imagine anything worse

For the 2008 televised vice-presidential debate in the United States, Sarah Palin was opposite Joe Biden. Reportedly, she’d so frustrated the...

29.05.2024 20

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Worried about your beach body? Take a lesson from Gen Z

Mr Z was having a crisis of confidence, due to the change of seasons. He thinks summer’s easy when you’re young; you just wear fewer clothes. In...

28.05.2024 20

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Is Rishi Sunak actively trying to lose the election? Let’s consider the mounting evidence

For a man who wants to win an election, Rishi Sunak’s first week of campaigning has been bizarre, a little bit frightening, like getting trapped in...

27.05.2024 60

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Guardian Opinion cartoon Ben Jennings on the twin scandals of contaminated blood and the Post Office – cartoon

21.05.2024 30

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

A generation of students is being ripped off – and our blood should be boiling

Whether or not universities are at risk of going bust is often talked about like a second-order problem. Sure, it’s sad and all, but is it as...

20.05.2024 20

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

My fellow citizens – we share confined spaces, but do I have to overhear your chat, your music, your TikTok?

Phone signal went live this week across a quarter of the underground system in the capital, mainly in central London, with further coverage planned...

15.05.2024 60

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

My stepfather-in-law is still happy at work aged 90 – what’s his secret?

Maybe the most remarkable thing about my stepfather-in-law is that he managed to find love in a swimming pool, at the age of 85, which is how I became...

14.05.2024 70

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

The birth trauma scandal is not about one bad apple, one bad culture or one bad area – it’s about the mess of austerity

It’s a convention as old as our species (I’m guessing) that if you have a hideous experience giving birth, you don’t tell younger women about it...

13.05.2024 40

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

How could Sunak and Starmer liven up the election? I vote for a rap battle

God knows I don’t want to pick sides in the bitter rivalry between Kendrick Lamar and Drake. The rappers’ feud has been going on for way too long...

07.05.2024 20

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Have I got this right? Does Kristi Noem really want Joe Biden to start killing dogs too?

When Kristi Noem, the South Dakota governor being vetted as a candidate for Donald Trump’s vice-president, admitted in her memoir to having shot and...

06.05.2024 50

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Consider the toxicity Sadiq Khan has faced as mayor. If he wins again, what a credit to him and London

Mayoral elections can seem set apart from the main drag of politics. People vote for individuals and their records, it’s not outlandish to stand as...

02.05.2024 80

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

My 16-year-old does not own an iguana. But he’s hoping to convince the GCSE examiners that he does

“What do you think is the greatest threat to the planet, and why?” I ask my 16-year-old. “Earthquakes. Because buildings fall. And this causes...

30.04.2024 30

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Yes, prime minister, it’s a scandal so many of us are signed off work. Maybe you Tories should stop making us ill

Another week, another phantom menace for Rishi Sunak. The people he is talking about, regarding his benefit reforms, do not exist. The 1.35 million...

29.04.2024 80

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

It’s clearer than ever that Brexit has failed – let’s not inflict its miseries on young people

Only those born before 1998 could vote on Brexit, so there is no conceivable way of knowing which way today’s 18- to 30-year-olds would have felt...

23.04.2024 60

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Was it Angela Rayner who was fined millions by HMRC? No, that was a Tory

I went past parliament last week and saw Angela Rayner. She is one of those politicians you couldn’t miss anyway, but she was also dressed in...

23.04.2024 30

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

What do I want for Posh at 50? Happiness. She and the Spice Girls deserve it

The Spice Girls are like German biscuits in reverse. They don’t remind you of the seasons – the seasons remind you of them. On the eve of St...

22.04.2024 10

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Of course a society that demonises poverty will try to prosecute vulnerable, unpaid carers

The unpaid carer’s allowance in this country is £81.90 a week. It’s hard to see what serious thought went into arriving at that figure – any...

19.04.2024 80

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

The Guardian view on smart motorways: not so clever without a hard shoulder

Ten years ago this week on the M25, Britain’s first stretch of all-lane running (ALR) “smart” motorway was introduced, with more to follow....

16.04.2024 7

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

I’m glad Laurence Fox is off the ballot for London mayor. But I’d love a Jammie Dodger with his canvassers

While I was out, a canvasser came to the door and asked Mr Z to sign a nomination form for Laurence Fox to get on to the ballot for the London mayoral...

16.04.2024 20

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

The greatest mystery of modern politics? Liz Truss’s self belief

Liz Truss’s memoir, Ten Years to Save the West, first penetrated the nation’s consciousness with her reflections on the death of Queen Elizabeth...

15.04.2024 30

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Guardian Opinion cartoon Ben Jennings on Donald Trump and a total eclipse of the sun – cartoon

09.04.2024 10

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Yes, total eclipses are very nice. But have you ever smelled bacon?

The total solar eclipse, visible in parts of Mexico, the US and Canada yesterday, was experienced in the UK only as a “small grazing” (that’s...

09.04.2024 20

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

My 13-hour holiday was a glimpse of the world before Covid. I’ll be going back

In a series of deft manoeuvres that remain fascinating to me, my 16-year-old son managed to barter me down from a four-day trip to Devon to 13 hours...

08.04.2024 6

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Of course the ‘revolving door’ for departing MPs has jammed shut – who’d hire them?

“My heart would sink a bit,” said Alex Gordon Shute, a headhunter of 23 years, when I asked her how she would feel if the 66 (and counting)...

04.04.2024 40

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Guardian Opinion cartoon Martin Rowson on the sharp rise in UK household bills – cartoon

02.04.2024 20

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Just when you think Trump can’t get any weirder … he launches his own version of the Bible

Donald Trump’s Bible costs $59.99, which puts it at the more expensive end of the King James editions, but it does have extra content: it’s called...

02.04.2024 50

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

The Wags are back – but I miss the carefree days of Posh and Coleen

It raises all kinds of sad questions to hear that the England footballers’ wives and girlfriends are heading to Euro 24 with £100,000 worth of...

01.04.2024 7

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

The Guardian view on the Princess of Wales: she has the right to heal privately

A cancer diagnosis is shocking for anyone, but particularly for younger people, in whom cancer is much rarer. In the UK, adults aged 25 to 49 account...

26.03.2024 20

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Gwyneth Paltrow is letting her hair down – but she has a lot to learn

New wisdom has just dropped from Gwyneth Paltrow. Now that she has turned 50, she “doesn’t give a fuck”, and allows herself one slovenly day a...

26.03.2024 7

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Why is the right at war with cyclists? We’re not ‘wokerati’ – we’re just trying to get around

Getting my bike nicked was like losing a pet. I didn’t want a new one; I wanted to go back in time and not lose my old one. But, in the end, an...

25.03.2024 6

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

Few want it, and even fewer think it will succeed. So why in the world is Sunak clinging to the Rwanda policy?

Nobody knows exactly how the first red fire ants were imported to Australia, but it happened – and now these vicious and destructive creatures are...

21.03.2024 50

The Guardian

Zoe Williams

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