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John Boston

John Boston

Santa Clarita Valley Signal

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John Boston | Serial Killers and Returning Shopping Carts

A relative years ago shared that “… the fundamental unit of humanity is insanity.” I find no chink in her argument. People are nuts. This is...

yesterday 1

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John Boston

John Boston | In Praise of Tall Trees and Latchkey Kids

I’m long past my tree-climbing days, but that doesn’t stop me from staring. From my office huge picture window, I often slouch, put my feet up and...

19.07.2024 2

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John Boston

John Boston | The Soothing & Pretend World of Jed Bartlet

I am a 21st-century man, unable to free myself from my computer. I write books and columns, edit videos and am in the midst of starting yet another...

12.07.2024 4

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John Boston

John Boston | Making Monthly Payments on a $150,000 SUV

Unfortunately, if you live long enough, life has a way of coming back full circle and biting you on your fetching little bottom. Clearly, I recall a...

05.07.2024 6

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John Boston

John Boston | National Slap a Co-Worker Day Is Coming Soon

I’ve been completely in the dark about this. Just recently, I discovered that, every year, until the end of American Civilization, Oct. 23 is...

28.06.2024 2

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John Boston

John Boston | Going Nuts Over Donuts? Dough-nuts?

It all started from one innocent story in The Mighty Signal. In the June 11 issue of America’s most resplendent periodical, an article was...

21.06.2024 5

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John Boston

John Boston | D-Day & the Busted Circle of J.Q. Adams

D-Day was last week. That would be the World War II turning-point invasion of Europe. Not the robust brassiere cup size. June 6, 1944, was six years...

14.06.2024 10

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John Boston

John Boston | Your Baseball Cap Screams What You Are

Editor’s note: The following “Best of Boston” column was originally published Aug. 11, 2023. I am probably the absolute last person to write an...

07.06.2024 8

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John Boston

John Boston | SoCalEdison? We Swear. We’re Not Digging Any Holes.

Dear Southern California Edison,  Thank you just oodles for your recent correspondence and concern, urging my caution for slicing the main wire that...

31.05.2024 30

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John Boston

John Boston | Biden’s Rules for 1st CNN Debate

Recently, President Joe Biden surprised the planet and agreed to debate former President Donald Trump in two televised meetings. Supposedly, one is in...

24.05.2024 40

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John Boston

John Boston | For Xmas? Get Me a Dog Toting a Flame Thrower

Oh I’ve died and, save for $9,420 plus tax, gone to heaven. A pal recently sent me a link noting that they now are selling a Flame-Throwing Robot...

17.05.2024 10

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John Boston

John Boston | My Major League Inter-Dimensional Newhall Team

Over the centuries, scientists and philosophers have pondered Heaven and Hell, other dimensions. The Vikings had Valhalla, a laughably violent realm...

10.05.2024 40

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John Boston | Our New Reality: City Speed Bumps Just Everywhere!

COLUMNIST NOTE: This pains me to add the clarification of “SATIRE” prior to this alleged prose. It’s like adding the disclaimer of, “LOOK OUT!...

03.05.2024 40

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John Boston

John Boston | Oh Joe! Were ‘Eat Me!!’ but a Euphemism

I was touched and saddened to hear the other day that the Deity of Dumbness, the high god of Democrats, Joe Biden, had an uncle eaten by cannibals. I...

26.04.2024 10

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John Boston | This November, I’m Running for the Oval Office

I am running for the highest office in the land this November. I confess. My motives are far from altruistic. An episode sent me over the edge last...

19.04.2024 10

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John Boston

John Boston | A Most Happy and Horrific April 5, 1970

Hey Dear R.P.P. (Roger Palmer Pal) …  When we chat about that April 5, I hardly know what to say. A contrite “thank you” isn’t remotely...

12.04.2024 8

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John Boston

John Boston | Hondo & the Pricey Mystery Meat Tacos …

One of the dearest people in my life is my baby sibling-like substance, Hondo Boston-Peters. Simply adore the guy. Hondo is a nickname because his...

05.04.2024 9

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John Boston

John Boston | Your Baseball Cap Screams What You Are

Best of Boston: The following column was originally published Aug. 11, 2023. I am probably the absolute last person to write an essay on dressing up....

29.03.2024 3

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John Boston

John Boston | Ellen? Please? Stop Making Brown TRPs!

Dear Mrs. Ellen Rubin Gordon, CEO, Tootsie Roll Pops, All Chocolate Division —  Before I inquire about how your day is going, I must ask, with no...

22.03.2024 5

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John Boston

John Boston | Some See Dead People? I See Liberals.

I’ve been blessed with many dear friends who also carry the job description of “HERO.” I marvel at the challenges many have not only met, but...

15.03.2024 10

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John Boston | Starbucks & the $5 Prune Juice Latte …

My father is still with me, bringing a fond shaking of the head and a smile. Dad was one tough son of a gun. At 5, he lost his father and was forced...

08.03.2024 10

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John Boston | My Election Picks & a Chance to be an Idiot Again …

A few years back, I was in the bleachers for one of those backyard political debates. On the Left was a 30-something foppish Disney executive. On the...

01.03.2024 10

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John Boston | ‘OOF…!!’ That Cursed Word Kids Never Say 

There’s one thing to this day that I never cared about regarding my father. He lived to be just about 90 and, in all those years, he never once used...

23.02.2024 10

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John Boston

John Boston | McD’s, Cow Rustlin’ and the Upside to Re-Electing Gascón

Hard to believe, but up until the late 1970s, we had two sheriff’s deputies here in Santa Clarita who worked — full-time and then some — on the...

16.02.2024 20

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John Boston

John Boston | Rain, Babies & Running Like a Chimpanzee

I love the rain, I always have. Some of the more peaceful places I can return to are memories of the heavenly gift. This week was no different. Rain...

09.02.2024 20

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John Boston

John Boston | Heaven Has a New Prisoner: Tom Frew ‘Ivy’

Hey Tom Frew, wherever you may be. Thinking of you with an enormous smile, wishing we were, again, sitting across from one another at some fly-rich...

02.02.2024 5

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John Boston

John Boston | Make Me the Next City Czar of Parks & Rec

DEAREST CAMERON SMYTH, MOST HIGH HOLY & EXALTED MUCKY MUCK MAYOR OF THE CITY OF SCLARITA — Once again, I place digits to keyboard in a humble effort...

26.01.2024 6

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John Boston

John Boston | FAA: Hiring the Sleep-Deprived & the Flatulent

Not at all am I anti-government. Almost daily, a smile creeps upon my countenance as I pass the many tree-lined medians and shrubbery-rich albeit...

19.01.2024 4

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John Boston

John Boston | Casting a Long Shadow at Placerita Creek

I thought of this the other day, the old Jewish wisdom that an idiot can throw a rock into a pond that 10 wise men cannot retrieve. I was on the bank...

13.01.2024 10

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John Boston

John Boston | Again I Win the Most Boring Xmas Contest

My Best Pal in the Whole World is Phil Lanier. For 60-plus years, we use Woke Math and identify as 8-year-olds. Christmas can’t officially commence...

05.01.2024 10

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John Boston

John Boston | Giving up Lima Beans & Melvins for New Year’s…

Who. The heck. Am I kidding. We’re starting the hopefully illustrious New Year of 2024 shortly. Well. At least I am. If it isn’t just like me, I...

29.12.2023 20

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John Boston

John Boston | Dear Friends & Atomically Hot Christmas Chili

Christmas is not just around the corner, it’s here. Salivating and chest heaving, it’s pounding on the front door like the Tasmanian Devil in a...

22.12.2023 20

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John Boston

John Boston | The 2023 Palmdale Generic Christmas Holiday Newsletter

All y’all! Merry Christmas to all on the Palmdale family tree, which, some wiseacres in our link like to point out is more like a limbless stump...

15.12.2023 50

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John Boston

John Boston | A Handy GOP Holiday Talking Points Guide

Recently, our organized crime-figure president, Joe Biden, released a series of bulleted talking points to make Thanksgiving family get-togethers even...

08.12.2023 4

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John Boston

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