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John BostonSanta Clarita Valley Signal |
I was touched and saddened to hear the other day that the Deity of Dumbness, the high god of Democrats, Joe Biden, had an uncle eaten by cannibals. I...
I am running for the highest office in the land this November. I confess. My motives are far from altruistic. An episode sent me over the edge last...
Hey Dear R.P.P. (Roger Palmer Pal) … When we chat about that April 5, I hardly know what to say. A contrite “thank you” isn’t remotely...
One of the dearest people in my life is my baby sibling-like substance, Hondo Boston-Peters. Simply adore the guy. Hondo is a nickname because his...
Best of Boston: The following column was originally published Aug. 11, 2023. I am probably the absolute last person to write an essay on dressing up....
Dear Mrs. Ellen Rubin Gordon, CEO, Tootsie Roll Pops, All Chocolate Division — Before I inquire about how your day is going, I must ask, with no...
I’ve been blessed with many dear friends who also carry the job description of “HERO.” I marvel at the challenges many have not only met, but...
My father is still with me, bringing a fond shaking of the head and a smile. Dad was one tough son of a gun. At 5, he lost his father and was forced...
A few years back, I was in the bleachers for one of those backyard political debates. On the Left was a 30-something foppish Disney executive. On the...
There’s one thing to this day that I never cared about regarding my father. He lived to be just about 90 and, in all those years, he never once used...
Hard to believe, but up until the late 1970s, we had two sheriff’s deputies here in Santa Clarita who worked — full-time and then some — on the...
I love the rain, I always have. Some of the more peaceful places I can return to are memories of the heavenly gift. This week was no different. Rain...
Hey Tom Frew, wherever you may be. Thinking of you with an enormous smile, wishing we were, again, sitting across from one another at some fly-rich...
DEAREST CAMERON SMYTH, MOST HIGH HOLY & EXALTED MUCKY MUCK MAYOR OF THE CITY OF SCLARITA — Once again, I place digits to keyboard in a humble effort...
Not at all am I anti-government. Almost daily, a smile creeps upon my countenance as I pass the many tree-lined medians and shrubbery-rich albeit...
I thought of this the other day, the old Jewish wisdom that an idiot can throw a rock into a pond that 10 wise men cannot retrieve. I was on the bank...
My Best Pal in the Whole World is Phil Lanier. For 60-plus years, we use Woke Math and identify as 8-year-olds. Christmas can’t officially commence...
Who. The heck. Am I kidding. We’re starting the hopefully illustrious New Year of 2024 shortly. Well. At least I am. If it isn’t just like me, I...
Christmas is not just around the corner, it’s here. Salivating and chest heaving, it’s pounding on the front door like the Tasmanian Devil in a...
All y’all! Merry Christmas to all on the Palmdale family tree, which, some wiseacres in our link like to point out is more like a limbless stump...
Recently, our organized crime-figure president, Joe Biden, released a series of bulleted talking points to make Thanksgiving family get-togethers even...
M y parents named me Walter Stanislav Cieplik Jr. and I’m not quite sure how I got old. Well. Let’s just say, approaching middle age. I was named...
DEAREST PRESIDENT XI JINPING — Top of the morning to you, amigo. Howzithanging? Representing the citizens of the riparian and gentrified community...
It is beyond wearying trying to keep up with the shenanigans of the politicians and bureaucrats without number that plague the American landscape. I...
I just recently discovered that the correct term is “Daylight Saving” (singular) — NOT — “Daylight Savings” (plural). It matters little...
I’ve been haunted most of this week. Halloween was Tuesday and just driving through Newhall’s Happy Valley brought back memories. I think my...
More often than not, this poor, put-upon saintly newspaper is on the receiving end of calls for my perfectly formed head. In high-pitched, nasally...
Eons ago, I worked for the comedy icon Norman Lear as Useless Corporate Ant No. 14,487, crunching numbers. What struck me about the billionaire was...
The other night, I was dining with friends and fellow members of The Worthless Sons & Daughters of the Wealthy Landowners, Santa Clarita-Velveeta...
One of my favorite eye-rolling statements from the wonderful folk at Fox News goes something like this: “The American people are too smart to stand...
There are things one can do as king that one cannot accomplish as congressman. Even with relatively absolute power, the intricacies of human nature...
Via a finger, I have a question. Is it more important that I have confidence in God? Or, is it more important that God has confidence — a...
So. Last week, I got the prostrate operation. I am showered in the blessings of having so many friends who all, coincidentally, share the mental...
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