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John Boston

John Boston

Santa Clarita Valley Signal

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John Boston | Post-Durham, We Need Heads. Human Heads.

Fabled attorney, law professor and pundit Alan Dershowitz recently said something that made me contort into One Of Those Faces.  Like a lion smelling...

26.05.2023 4

Santa Clarita Valley Signal

John Boston

John Boston | Sledgehammers, Flies, Liberals & Polar Bears

When my girl was little, she was worried to the beeheebies about attending third grade the next day. I’m blessed. Indy got/gets into as much trouble...

19.05.2023 6

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John Boston

John Boston | At My Age, Paying $17 a Month for an $18 Policy

As the celestial clock keeps insistently ticking, I can’t help but notice more than a few subtle changes in my life. I made the mistake the other...

12.05.2023 3

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John Boston

John Boston | Kudos to Smyth for Advancing Cauliflower EarAwareness

DEAR COUNCILMAN CAMERON SMYTH:  Taking digits to keyboard this fine Friday morn to actively cheer your heroic resolution to fund separate city...

05.05.2023 2

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John Boston

John Boston | On Open ‘Fart’ Surgery & the Laughing Heart

DEAR WORLD’S BEST FRIEND PHILLIP ALLEN LANIER,  Your Things To Do List tomorrow is short, but a doozy. The first item is Open Heart Surgery. By the...

28.04.2023 5

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John Boston

John Boston | Who, Among Us, Can Survive the 8-Second Kiss?

So I was out to dinner with two dear married pals. Strangely, it was the husband — not the wife — who shared this marital pearl. We were at a...

21.04.2023 4

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John Boston

John Boston | ABC Magazine & Back When I Was Wretchedly Unfunny

This fall marks the 55th anniversary of the college and alleged humor/satire magazine my best pal Phil “The Lousy Phil” Lanier and I started as...

14.04.2023 3

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John Boston

John Boston | Do you Smoke, Drink & Step on People’s Feet?

Inept in math as I am, I like to point out I’m approaching middle age. Ergo, it was probably a good idea last week that I show up for my first...

07.04.2023 1

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John Boston

The Time Ranger | Naked Shaking & Poaching Cost a House

Hasn’t this 2023 winter/spring just been something? I think I can count on one hand the number of days we’ve had where it’s hit the low 70s for...

01.04.2023 6

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John Boston

John Boston | 13 of the Most Famous Women in World History

Heavens. I’m just sneaking under the wire with this one. It’s March 31 and the last day of Women’s History Month. I just wanted to salute those...

31.03.2023 6

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John Boston

John Boston | A Hangman’s Gallows for an 8th-Grade Boy

One of the 20th century’s most delightful gifts was the mythicist, Joseph Campbell. He may have been all of history’s most enlightened scholars of...

24.03.2023 1

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John Boston

John Boston | Creed & Rocky: An American Anthem of Soul, Heart & Can-Do

I have a few friends my age who are simply not wired to sit through a movie. We’ll be in the theater, chomping down popcorn. Bristling with...

17.03.2023 3

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John Boston

John Boston | Embarrassment. It Doesn’t Kill. Should, Though.

Pretty much, my feathers are tough to ruffle. I don’t embarrass easily. Others? Some do. Like my dopey sister-like substance, “Tweedie.”...

10.03.2023 3

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John Boston

John Boston | My FREE NRA Gift? Dogs & Holy Water…

These certainly are the high holy days of pestering. Anything you buy afterward lurks the dreaded follow-up survey:  “Hi! We at Dubble Bubble just...

03.03.2023 2

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John Boston

John Boston | Navy’s New Woke Fizzy Fitness Tests

I was more than a little relieved to hear that, finally, at least one branch of our military was taking a serious look at their physical fitness...

24.02.2023 3

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John Boston

John Boston | LeBron and the Shameful ***** of the 3-Pointer

Basketball was one of my first loves and, coming from a troubled childhood, it brought me the gift of boundaries. I can’t recall eating a meal with...

17.02.2023 3

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John Boston

John Boston | Smilodons & Other Causes of Death…

I dreamed of death the other night. Mine. Nothing dramatic. A mob in the tens of thousands, faces distorted, angry, screaming, shaking fists and farm...

10.02.2023 2

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John Boston

John Boston | Drop-Off Locations Announced for SCV Stoves and Heaters

In a move to make the government-ordered transition from gas stoves and heating to solar, the state of California’s newly formed M.U.M. Commission...

03.02.2023 7

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John Boston

John Boston | The Fatal Social Disease of the Sexual Revolution

Just this week, I stumbled upon Mary Eberstadt for the first time. Mary’s an essayist, novelist, lecturer, research fellow-ette at the Hoover...

27.01.2023 2

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John Boston

John Boston | More Illegal Biden Papers Found in SCV

Recent discoveries at several hundred Santa Clarita Valley homes, businesses and enterprises of more illegal Joe Biden documents have shocked the...

20.01.2023 3

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John Boston

John Boston | On Oaks and Rain, Giants and Babies

I was driving up Valley Street earlier this week with my all-time favorite relative. She just turned 20 the day before. I am still frankly flummoxed...

13.01.2023 2

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John Boston

John Boston | Eddie. I Want My Post Office Box Returned

DEAR EDDIE LOYOLA; POSTMASTER; SANTA CLARITA POST OFFICE: Hope the holidays were more than kind to you and the wonderful staff at the post office on...

06.01.2023 10

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John Boston

John Boston | My New Year’s Resolutions for Just Tomorrow

I have to admit. I’m not at all sad to say, “Kiss my rural dusty butt to 2022 and don’t let the screen door catch you on the Achilles tendon on...

30.12.2022 4

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John Boston

John Boston | Snowshoeing on Christmas Day With My Pops

I’ll take it but it doesn’t seem right. The high in Santa Clarita for Christmas Day is supposed to be a blistering 73 degrees, sunny and one...

23.12.2022 3

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John Boston

John Boston | The 2022 Generic Palmdale Xmas Family Newsletter

Well, Heavens. The Apocalypse Itself must be upon us. I actually got this yuletide missive MAILED before Christmas! What with COVID and the Antelope...

16.12.2022 7

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John Boston

John Boston | Kicking the Holy Crap Out of a Checker for Xmas

Dear me how time flies and I think it was eight years ago. My daughter and I spent a couple of Christmas weeks by ourselves at our friend’s tony...

09.12.2022 5

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John Boston

On Fetching SCV Wenches & the Elderly

So. If I were filling out one of the endless federal government We’re Annoying You For Your Own Good forms, I’d have to check the escape-clause...

02.12.2022 9

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John Boston

John Boston | I’m Grateful for Things Santa Clarita

Over the years, I’ve returned from prettier places. There’s that familiar sickening and Pavlovian reaction, when the air wing brakes lower, and...

25.11.2022 4

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John Boston

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