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Evan Waite

Evan Waite

The New Yorker

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The Hater’s Lament

As I reflect on a life lived, I wish I’d complained more.

12.12.2024 9

The New Yorker : Daily Shouts

Evan Waite

On the Run from Netflix Autoplay

I’m scared, but I have to keep moving. To stop is to die, or, worse, to be force-fed a clip of Ricky Gervais saying words.

08.10.2024 7

The New Yorker : Daily Shouts

Evan Waite

Human Recall Announcement

The Creator confesses that humans have turned out worse than even He anticipated.

25.07.2024 6

The New Yorker : Daily Shouts

Evan Waite

U.F.C. Fighter on How to Protect Yourself from Being Swept Off Your Feet

The Eye Gouge: The eye gouge prevents love at first sight by ending their sight. This is why the Three Stooges never got laid.

10.04.2024 10

The New Yorker : Daily Shouts

Evan Waite

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