Such was the frenzy that was England’s successful run chase at the MCG on Saturday that at one point, Ben Duckett played an orthodox forward defence and was greeted with the sort of roar a crowd usually reserves for a rasping straight drive or a soaring hook. The erstwhile rule had become the exception.

Duckett ramped poor old Michael Neser for six (ramped! You can see the game’s veteran wincing at the very word). Zak Crawley straight drove the same bowler for a different six. Jacob Bethell played a scoop to the first ball after the tea break and got away with it. Between times, Brydon Carse had come and gone as a kind of guerilla at No.3 and literally was running as he went. He’d made six. Meantime, Usman Khawaja signed autographs at third man.

None of these are bad things in themselves, but collectively they beg the question: what was that? Almost nothing about the Boxing Day Test computed. Not the pitch, not the way both teams played on it, not the rush to the finish, not the outcome, another exception to the general rule. Nothing fitted into any known Test cricket algorithm. It was Christmas cricket, novelty by the sleigh-ful, ho, ho, ho.

How to process this? Instinctively, the temptation is simply to call this Test maverick, a mulligan for Australia, a get out of jail free card for England, a wildcard all round. It might even be granted its own category in the records. Good performances can stand, for who would deny Bethell and his suave first impression, or Josh Tongue his valour, or several others on both sides who toiled at what........

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