“I need to tell you about last night,” my friend said, and I leaned in.

She paused, and looked at me for a moment. “It’s for the vault,” she said firmly. “Okay?”

We deepen our connection and trust with the people we love by offering them private information.Credit: ISTOCK

Ah, the vault, I thought. That locked room in my mind. The repository for all my secrets. I used to love nothing more than a request to keep something secret. It made me feel trusted, and valued, and important, and meant that exciting information was forthcoming.

As a school kid, my favourite conversations with friends all began with the command,........

© The Sydney Morning Herald