I noticed Lime bikes almost as soon as they arrived in London, in 2018, because of the teenagers. Let me explain: it’s possible to hack the rentable ebikes – and when I say “hack”, I mean “not pay for”. You just have to pedal as fast as you can and you’re golden. If you haven’t paid, though, they make a loud clicking noise, which some bystanders find annoying, but I perceive as the soundtrack of naughty teenagers living their best life. I live next to a school and shoals of hoodlums cycle past like a percussion orchestra.

This is where my problem originated, I........

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