There are prices I pay for being a lesbian who spends too much time on the internet and loves film, TV and pop culture. One is that I spend a lot of time on the internet.

I also know a lot of useless things that take up prime real estate within my ever-shrinking brain, where “understanding maths” could be. But, while I may not be across things like the Dow Jones (a guy?), I am always up to date and aware of the real things – like society’s current hot people. This includes those in the public eye having a glow-up moment, or the new ones emerging from their cocoons like moths who can’t live among us normals, heading instead for the bright lights of Hollywood.

Sometimes, we get a trend where a few of these people seem to appear at the same time, are similar in some way, and people notice. This time, it was the “hot rodent boyfriend” – actors du jour with sort of rodenty features and faces, like Timothée Chalamet, Jeremy Allen White, and Josh O’Connor from Challengers. Not to be confused with “ratshit boyfriends” that I’ve met, “rodent boyfriend” is a compliment, and something people find very appealing. This categorising of the hot and famous is not a new phenomenon; it seems like at least once a year we are introduced to a........

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