Praise be – for it has happened. The streams have officially been crossed. Imagine my delight to type in two of Earth’s most lavishly provocative search terms – “Oasis reunion” and “William and Harry” – and find that a royal expert has already gone there. Thank you to a certain Riley Gardiner – billed by the Express as both “PR expert” and elsewhere as a “royal expert” – for very solemnly informing the public that the formerly feuding Gallagher brothers putting aside their differences could have knock-on implications for the still-feuding Windsor brothers.

“The [Gallagher] brothers actually repairing their relationship speaks to many,” Gardiner confides expertly, from his vantage point inside either a Montecito foxhole or the postbox outside Liam’s house. “High-profile families reconciling like this, especially as a band that will go on to tour and show off this reconciliation in front of millions, will strike a chord with fans – perhaps even prompting the royal brothers to reflect on their own ties.”

Perhaps even what, sorry? Listen, I’ve got a huge amount of time for that regal stretch of Fleet Street in which pretty much everything can be true, pretty much all of the time, and which draws more “experts” than the annual Dunning-Kruger symposium – or even those seeking to decode the hidden meanings of the Oasis reunion. Even by the standards of a press routinely affronted that people don’t........

© The Guardian