“I loved the way I dedicated my services to her,” wrote Dr Conrad Murray of his “most noble” patient. “It was totally selfless because when I agreed to serve her, I literally had no idea that she was then widely known.” Sure, sure. And the name of that patient, which I feel certain this most self-effacing physician might be persuaded to offer up? “The world renowned quintessential nun who is now a saint: Mother Teresa.”

Well, that would have been quite the two-fer. Because, of course, Dr Murray – who has yet to be canonised but who recently opened his new medical institute – is arguably better known for being the treatment professional who repeatedly bunged Michael Jackson a general anaesthetic so the singer could avoid his well earned sleepless nights. After one of these ministrations killed Jackson, Murray eventually served jail time for involuntary manslaughter, after which he wrote the book in which that Mother Teresa anecdote appears. Don’t take that as a recommendation – it’s a namedropping word salad/self-justification that was sadly not titled Celebrities I Didn’t Kill.

It’s hard not to be reminded of Murray when reading the tragic new details of Matthew Perry’s death. The Friends actor was found dead in his hot tub last year, sparking a police investigation. Among the five now charged – including his long-term personal assistant, Kenneth Iwamasa, who prosecutors say had........

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