Before we fully enter the festive season, succumbing to the sweet rustling embrace of mistletoe and Quality Street, please could we consider the good health, or otherwise, of the UK Christmas No 1 single?

While 2023’s victor will be announced within days, LadBaby (Mark Hoyle) has counted himself out. Usually in collaboration with his wife, Roxanne, he’s dominated the Christmas charts for five years. He’s raised huge amounts of money for the food bank charity the Trussell Trust with spoofs of classic rock songs (including I Love Sausage Rolls), along the way beating the Beatles record for the most Christmas No 1s.

Now LadBaby has decided to “pass the baton to the Great British public”. He also said: “The legacy for us is we want charity songs to dominate every Christmas.” A laudable thought (can’t one chart-topping week be given over to fundraising?). But there’s still space to note there was once another way.

What happened to the Christmas No 1? Why is it in such a tatty, pathetic, outdated state? It used to be an event. A crowning end-of-year achievement. A cultural moment. But, with various factors (not least the inexorable rise of streaming coupled with the splintering of the music industry), the downward slide of the Christmas No 1, the diminishment of kudos, the dearth of public excitement and anticipation, has........

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