Regrettably, I have to say that Elon Musk and I have something near and dear in common: we both have used fertility treatments to conceive our children.

Thankfully, the similarities of our situations stop there.

It took my partner and I three years to conceive our child, something that was very taxing on our marriage and at times very fraught. When our daughter was born, we vowed to support her whoever she, or whatever she calls herself, no matter what.

Being a parent has been one of the most challenging, yet rewarding things I’ve ever done. I also worry daily that I will fall short at times, letting my child down when she needs me most. Even now, I hesitate to write about her, given that she did not ask for this, nor is she a public figure. Being a writer means bringing other people into our own words, many times without their explicit consent. Largely, it doesn’t affect them, and it is impossible to write about existence without noting that we are never truly alone.

Even acknowledging this, I’ve done more than the world’s richest man has when talking about his daughter Vivian, an episode of The Jordan B. Peterson podcast. In what can only be described as a hateful diatribe, Musk goes on to deadname and misgender his daughter, say that he was “tricked” into provided gender affirming care for her, and declare that she was “killed by the woke mind virus” for transitioning and cutting off contact with her father.

Parenting a child means coming to terms with the fact that much of what you expect out of them may not come to pass, and that is more than okay. I would love to share my fervent sports fandom with my child, but I’m not demanding her loyalties lie where mine do. If she chooses to associate with different groups, or avoid ever watching a game with me that’s more than okay.

Sports fandom is much more trivial than one's own identity, however. Whatever my child decides about herself in the future, I am there for her. Full stop.

I........

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