My suburb has the Mad Mile. We call the rest of you ‘flatlanders’

May 11, 2026 — 7:00pm

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Start driving east from Melbourne. Past the inner city, past suburbia and, yes, at some point you may feel like turning back, but please don’t. Things get interesting once you’ve reached the big lyrebird sign signalling “Welcome to Ferntree Gully and the Blue Dandenongs”.

Keep an eye out for the goats that are casually hanging along the train line near Upper Ferntree Gully. They were hired by Metro Trains for their weed control management department. If you’re doing the drive on a weekend, make sure you stop by the Sri Lankan food truck called R&R at The Gully Market. The aunty and uncle who run it make hoppers that are worth the drive alone.

So, by now you would have reached the foothills of the Dandenong Ranges. The 1000-steppers veer left, but turn right, and you’ll find yourself on the Mad Mile, also known as Burwood Highway. It’s technically a 70km/h zone, but many drivers treat it as an audition for the next Fast and Furious film. And then you arrive in Upwey.

Upwey feels different to much of Melbourne. It’s lush, green and picturesque. The mornings come with a soundtrack of different birds, including kookaburras, rainbow lorikeets, rosellas and superb fairy wrens.

Before Upwey, my husband and I lived in an apartment in a suburb in Sydney’s inner-west called Stanmore. Our one-bedder was on a main road, facing a bus stop, next to a train line and under a flight path. There was a point where I was using white noise, block-out blinds and ear plugs just to keep the noise and lights out. After seven years, I thought it was time to move somewhere I didn’t need to keep blocking things out.

Growing up in Donvale and Templestowe, I had always imagined living in the Dandenong Ranges. Mountains, beautiful walks, morning sunshine, watching the rain over a cup of chai. But more than anything, I craved a strong sense of community.........

© The Age