There is little doubt Matildas captain Sam Kerr made a goose of herself when she argued the toss with a London cop after throwing up in a cab during a post-match celebration of her hat-trick against Liverpool.

But when did being a goose become a criminal offence?

Australian football star Sam Kerr is fighting to have a charge of racially harassing a police officer thrown out of court.Credit: Getty Images

It’s claimed she called the cop who was dealing with her a stupid white bastard after Kerr allegedly refused to pay a surcharge to have the cab cleaned. It was a spectacular own goal.

She appears to have made a hat-trick of mistakes – throwing up, failing to pay the required fee and then getting lippy with the law.

The incident occurred on January 30, 2023, and she was charged by post nearly a year later, on January 21, for allegedly using racially aggravated words that caused alarm and distress to PC Lovell.

Penguins rarely argue.Credit: Stefan Christmann

PC Lovell was no doubt only doing his job according to the letter of the law. However, as a rule of thumb, a career in policing requires not becoming alarmed and distressed at robust verbal interactions. For those not so inclined, occupations such as librarian, museum curator or emperor penguin carer, await.

Sam Kerr is 167 centimetres and of slight build. She has no criminal history. The only person who should be frightened of Kerr, OAM, is a goalkeeper during a penalty.

She was a feisty, full, footballer – a striker who didn’t strike – not a bikie with a knuckle duster.

The taxi driver took Kerr to Twickenham police station in busy London Road next to the excellent, family-run Greek Cook and Grill restaurant, in the hope of settling the dispute.

She would have been better off investing in a souvlaki than a slanging match – two skewers, homemade chips, dip and salad for £15.70 ($30). A bargain.

Souvlaki, the international food of peace.Credit: Eddie Jim

PC Lovell was not alone. Inside the 24-hour station were fellow police officers, batons, handcuffs and, in all probability, a pie warmer.

Twickenham recorded 15,352 crimes last year. Kerr’s three-word sledge is now alleged to be another. The station is down the road from the international Twickenham Stadium, meaning the local police would often deal with over-refreshed rugby supporters.

Not so long ago, someone in Kerr’s condition may have been put in a cell for four hours to reflect on life and then........

© The Age