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Dear Care and Feeding,

My husband and I were both asked to be in his sister’s wedding party. We figured we would leave our kids, who will be 2 and 3 by the time of the wedding, home for the night with a babysitter. Then they let us know that they definitely want our kids to be there. We discussed the limitations we’d have if the kids were with us, and my SIL and future BIL were fine with us popping in and out as needed. We still planned to bring one of our regular babysitters with us, either the high schooler or the college student our kids are used to and love. Then they announced they had finally picked the date and venue. It is a Sunday night at the end of a holiday break, four hours away from where we all live. Neither babysitter is available because they can’t stay overnight and both have school commitments the next day. We have racked our brains to figure out who else we can bring as a babysitter, but outside of my husband’s family members—who will be there for the wedding, not to provide our childcare—we can’t come up with anyone.

We talked to my SIL and her fiancé to let them know that because we can’t find childcare to bring with us, we can’t both be in the wedding. One of us still could be, or we could just attend as guests. We asked them which they’d prefer, letting them know that either option was fine with us. They........

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