Kyle Shanahan of the San Francisco 49ers on the sideline during a preseason game against the Las Vegas Raiders at Allegiant Stadium on Aug. 23, 2024, in Las Vegas.

This story was originally published on Defector, an independent employee-owned media company and another of Drew’s employers. Subscribe at Defector.

Some people are fans of the San Francisco 49ers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the San Francisco 49ers. This 2024 Defector NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far from Defector.

Your team: San Francisco 49ers. And if you’ll indulge for just a moment, may I say … YOINK!

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Your 2023 record: 12-5. NFC champs. Again. Super Bowl entrants. Again. Took a 10-point lead on Patrick Mahomes in the Super Bowl. Again. Blew that lead. Again. Again and again and again and again and again. This team was once a dynasty; now it’s a treadmill. The details change from year to year, but the end is always the same.

As for the 2023 details: These Niners spent the bulk of the regular season beating up on a parade of nobodies, some obvious (the Giants) and some eager to reveal themselves (Eagles, Cowboys). They suffered an uncharacteristic three-game losing streak in October to Cleveland, Minnesota and Cincinnati. Their Hall of Fame LT was hobbled for that Browns game and then inactive for the subsequent two, highlighting how fragile this supposed juggernaut really is.

But that tackle healed up, enough for San Francisco to win all but one meaningful game on the back half of the slate, and then to stage comeback victories against Green Bay and Detroit to win the NFC. They rolled into the Super Bowl as slight favorites over Kansas City, took their usual double-digit lead, and then …

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The game ended right there. Yes, there was still drama on the back end, with the Niners taking the lead within the final two minutes, only for Mahomes & Co. to tie it right back up at the gun. San Francisco even got the ball first in overtime, mostly because they failed to remember that the NFL changed the playoff overtime format in 2022:

“Multiple San Francisco players said after the game that they were not aware that the overtime rules are different in the playoffs than they are in the regular season, and strategy discussions over how to handle the overtime period did not occur as a team. Defensive lineman Arik Armstead said he learned the details of the postseason rule when it was shown on the Allegiant Stadium jumbotron during a TV timeout after regulation.”

But these Niners were good enough, in theory, to overcome that brain fart. In fact, they drove all the way to the Kansas City 9-yard line on their opening possession of the extra period. That drive stalled out and ended in a field goal. Everyone knew what would happen next, and so it did:

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For good measure, your best LB snapped his Achilles in that game while jogging out onto the field. It’s almost as if God doesn’t like you, 49ers. I wonder why that might be …

Your coach: Ah yes. Him.

That’s Kyle Shanahan, seen here doing his best impression of a man too old to be on TikTok. There is no Super Bowl lead that this man cannot relinquish, and yet he still reigns as not merely the best head coach in the NFC, but also the most influential one. The NFC really needs higher standards. Oh, and the man is a BRUTAL shadow GM. He still hasn’t been punished nearly enough for drafting Trey Lance, who became the James Wiseman of football. He just extended RB Christian McCaffrey at the exact wrong age (28) to give a back any job, let alone a highly paid one. And he pulled a Scott Pioli by installing cameras all over team headquarters, so that he can watch everyone in the building and, more important, so that they know they’re being watched. From our old friend Kalyn Kahler:

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“Kyle has taken a lot from his dad’s career and applied it to his own, including........

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