Oh gaaaash, didja hear? The Vikings beat the 49ers on Sunday! Yeah, beat ’em real good! I thought we’d probably lose that game. You know, the Vikings being the Vikings and all. Oh, but they really kicked San Francisco’s tushy all over the field this time! Yeah, even their backup paaass-rusher — I can’t remember his name; I think it’s Pat or something — got two saaaacks! When I saw him do that, I thought I’d had one Schmidt beer too many! This can’t be real, I thought. But sure as the sun comes up, it was!

But oh geez, the Niners tried real hard there at the end! Yeah, they did! They had that little guy for a quarterback out there, and oh bless his tiny heart, he did his best to win that game! I guess it just wasn’t enough, though. Aw, I feel bad for him. And for their coach! That Kyle Shanahan is a pretty good coach, I hear! Oh and Mike Shanahan is his daaad! That’s so nice! (Shouting upstairs to my wife) Did you hear that, hon? Kyle got his job thanks to his dad! Yeah! Isn’t that great? If I ever run an NFL team, I hope my son gets to coach it one day too! That’d be so fun for him!

You’re free to call Sunday’s loss an aberration. After all, it’s only Week 2, and the Niners’ eight-game losing streak in Minnesota is more a fun fact than anything else. But I am a Vikings fan, and I have watched my team lose this kind of game, often to far worse teams, many times over. Give the Vikes a lead, and they treat it like someone just flicked a booger onto them. But this time, they kept their composure in a tight fourth quarter and put the game away just as the flames were licking at their heels.

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And it wasn’t a fluke. We beat your asses, and........

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