Greg Louganis wasn’t supposed to compete at the 1988 Olympics. The superstar athlete, dubbed the “Baryshnikov of diving,” had originally planned on retiring after earning two gold medals in Los Angeles in 1984, to go along with the silver he won in Montreal in ’76. It didn't bode well in Seoul when, during a routine dive during the preliminaries, he hit his head on the board — a potentially catastrophic injury that killed a fellow diver five years before. He had also, unknown to the rest of the world, recently learned he was HIV-positive. Louganis was 28 years old and had every reason to believe he wouldn’t make it to 30.

“I was told, ‘Get your affairs in order, because chances are, you probably only have two more years to live,’” the now 64-year-old Louganis recalls during a lengthy recent conversation over Zoom. Even when speaking of serious things, Louganis remains boyishly energetic, smiling beneath a portrait of him with his dogs while the pets bark insistently for his attention. But there’s a gravitas to him as well. He’s now lived far more years with his HIV diagnosis than he had before it, and he’s still learning what his lengthy second chance means.

In 1993, he held a birthday celebration that he assumed was his farewell party. Against the odds, he kept on surviving. Louganis officially came out at the Gay Games in 1994, and went public with his HIV status in 1995, with the release of his memoir “Breaking the Surface.” “It’s interesting,” he says now, “all these years later, I was prepared to die.” He pauses for a beat and adds, “I wasn't prepared to live.”

Greg Louganis poses with his two gold medals during the Summer Olympics XXIII in 1984 in Los Angeles. (Focus on Sport via Getty Images)

To appreciate the magnitude of Louganis’ transformative impact, you need only look as far as those Paris Games. The Chinese team’s masterful domination of the diving competitions (six golds and counting), rooted in its unstoppable combination of precision and grace, has clear precedent in Louganis’ groundbreaking, gymnastic style. “They used me as a model in their diving program,” says Louganis, who trained as an acrobat and dancer as a child before moving to diving. “They pull the kids out when they're very, very young, and introduce them to dance and acrobatics."

"That type of balance and rhythm exposure,” he notes, “are the skill sets that you're going to use and need to become a good diver.”

Louganis’ influence extends far beyond the perimeter of the pool. At the Paris Games this year, there are nearly 200 LGBTQ athletes. Three decades ago, Louganis was among just a small handful of openly gay elite athletes in the world. He was also one of the first to disclose he was HIV-positive. As the New York Times grimly reported in 1995, “Louganis now has the dreadful distinction of being the world's most prominent athlete to say he contacted AIDS from homosexual activity.” Now, exactly 40 years after he earned his first gold, his distinctions would never be referred to as "dreadful." And he's back at the Olympics, as an ambassador for Pride House Paris, a space for athletes and fans from the LGBTQ community and their allies to celebrate this year's games and socialize.

How did this shy, adopted child, a kid bullied at school for his dark skin, his stutter, his dyslexia and his interest in — and uncanny aptitude for — “sissy” pursuits like gymnastics become one of the most visible and outspoken LGBTQ athletes in the world?

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Louganis first learned to dive in his family swimming pool. When knee problems ruled out his other athletic activities, diving became his primary focus. By the age of 16, just as he was coming to terms with his sexuality, he was competing in the Olympics. There he earned his first medal, a silver, for the 10-meter platform. The achievement made him instantly renowned. But he says that silver only made him feel like “the first loser.”

"We're riddled with guilt, as gay individuals, because we're told we're wrong."

He remembers the scene in Montreal in 1976. “At the time, I was training with [former Olympic champion] Dr. Sammy Lee. Klaus Dibiase from Italy was going for his third Olympic gold medal,” he says. “The training I was doing was all about beating Klaus, so my sole purpose on this planet was to prevent Klaus from winning that gold medal. I failed, and Dr. Lee let me know that I failed. That was pretty brutal.”

Already prone to depression and suicidal ideation, Louganis’ post-Olympic victory lap was anything but. “I didn't understand when I went back to high school why everybody was celebrating me when I felt like such a failure,” he says. “I was almost a statistic. I tried to commit suicide. I thought the world would be a better place without me.”

There were also rumors about his sexuality, rumblings that occasionally manifested in slurs and offensive signs at his tournaments. The tactics didn't get under his skin, though. “It's easy to point to homophobia, the 'f*g buster' campaign,” he says. “But years later, and meeting up with a lot of these guys, it was more about jealousy. I was winning, and I get it — if you can't beat him on the boards, then you beat him off the boards. So I don't know that all of it was homophobia. I........

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