Elections can bring about significant debate and conflict among friends and family members, but so can other topics such as wars, religion, or parenting strategies. It’s easier to walk away from or dismiss those with whom we have no relationship, but significant differences with those whom we know and love can be much more challenging. We may be genuinely curious about why or how these beliefs came to be, and we likely hold onto a hope that we might be able to change their minds. Approaching differences of opinion with loved ones can be complex but might be eased just a bit if we consider several metaphorical steps.

When opening up a conversation with someone about whom we care but we know has differing opinions, we likely need to approach gently and kindly. “I know we disagree about this, but I really would like to hear more about what you believe” tends to go much further than “That’s so stupid” or “I can’t believe you think that way.” Opening up conversation is like making attempts at opening up a drawbridge; you can't get in unless you provide some friendly, benevolent, encouraging statements to start. If the other individual senses you are ready to fight, they are likely to be more defensive, on guard, shut down or combative.

Just as we might dip a toe into a body of water to check on the temperature........

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